This is the second half of my Reverb10 Project.
December 17th - Lesson Learned - What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
The most important thing I learned about myself this year is that I can allow myself to be open again. For almost a year and a half, I was very closed off. I was not in the mood or position to let someone into my life or into my heart. I just didn’t want to deal with that. But, I’m in a much better place now. My heart is def open now. I will continue to follow this path of openness, of allowing myself to feel. That is all I can do. And, I know that it will be the best thing ever.
December 18th - Try - What do you wanna try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did or didn’t go for it?
In the following year, I would like to try to write something every day. I am committed to writing because in the words of dream hampton, “writers write.” I wanted to try a few things in 2010. Some of them worked out really well, others not so much. But, either way, I’m thankful for the experience.
December 19th - Healing - What healed you this year? Was it sudden or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
I realized that there was still hope. I had lost that feeling for a while. So, in a way, I was healed by the possibility of hope. It was def a drip-by-drip evolution. It was a slow and steady process. It was def needed in my life this year. In 2011, I would like to be healed of any negative thoughts or actions. I would love to eliminate them totally. that would be quite great to me.
December 20th - Beyond Avoidance - What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? Bonus: Will you do it?
The one thing I should’ve done was just to go. Take the trip I have to take. I was stopped by my fear. I will do it and soon. Because I know its the pathway to my future.
December 21st - Letter To Your Future Self - I blogged about this already here
December 22nd -Travel - How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
In 2010, I did not travel enough. That was not the highlight of 2010. I need to travel internationally. It’s a definite must for 2011. I am craving an island vacation, somewhere exotic though. There are a few places I would to vacation in the next year. Mykonos Island, Greece; Fiji; Belize; Turks and Caicos; Dubai, Ochos Rios, Jamaica; Capri, Italy; and St. Thomas just to name a few. I’ve also never been to NYC or Miami or Vegas. So they are on my must see list as well. I’m just ready to go.
December 23rd - New Name - Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
If I had to pick a new name, of would be Kelsi. I’ve been in love with this name for a while now. When I have a daughter, I’m sure this will be her name. I think its a very cute name. And, I just really like it
December 24th - Everything’s OK - What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
The best moment that I can think is New Year’s Day. I just kinda had an epiphany while talking to some family members. I felt lighter as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I just knew that I would be just fine. That my life was changing. I’ve used that feeling to drive me through this year and will continue to use it in 2011
December 25th – Photo – A present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
This picture best captures who I am. This was snapped on my way to my best friends wedding. It was taken by my cousin. It best reveals about me that I am genuinely happy about my life & those that I love. This was a very wonderful day.
December 26th - Soul Food -What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?
The one meal that I remember the most was crab cakes and salad from Semolinas. It has become my new favorite dish. I need to get the recipe. I can’t say it touched my soul though.
December 27th - Ordinary Joy - Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?
Simply seeing my youngest nephew Kole light up when he sees me. He is very attached to his parents and very spoiled. But finally he has warmed up to other people and his recognition and acknowledgement of me was my one joyful ordinary moment of this year.
December 28th - Achieve - What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.
The one thing I want to achieve the most next year is conquering my fear and living the life I love and deserve. I’m sure I will feel happy and free and loved and complete and totally blissful. I know the steps I need to take to get me to there. It’s all about stepping out on faith which is huge. But I see my destiny within my grasp.
December 29th - Defining Moment - Describe a defining moment that has affected your life this year.
At the beginning of the year, while having lunch with my cousin and my brother, I had a lightbulb moment. I felt whatever had been wearing me down lift off me. I just knew that everything that I was carrying from 2009 was over. That I would be perfectly fine. And, I was so right. Things I never expected have transpired this year. 30 was a good look.
December 30th - Gift - This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?
The best and most unexpected gift I received this year had to be love. You cannot measure it or quantify it or see it. But, I feel it deep inside of me. It was a gift because I didn't know I needed it, deserved it, desired it until it presented itself to me. Isn't that the ultimate gifft?
December 31st - Core Story - What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?.
I think my core story is one of love. Because when I love, I love hard and with every thing in me. This is a no brained when it comes to my family. But, what I've realized is that this is also true about me when it comes to the people I let into my life. Once you're in my heart, you're in. This year, I found myself in a situation where I had no choice but to open my heart. Love has a way of doing that. I didn't know I needed it, wasn't even looking for it. I cannot wait to see how my core story grows in the new year.
Reverb 10 (#reverb10) is now an annual event, an inspired response to (and evolution of) #best09. It’s an open online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead.
December 1st - One Word - Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you.
My word is “brand-new.” I am choosing this word because it fully explains this year. I’ve experienced some brand-new feelings and thoughts this year. I’m more than happy about that. One year from today, I would love for the word to be “blissful.” I’m def working towards that.
December 2nd - Writing - What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
The thing I do most that doesn’t contribute to my writing is procrastinating. I freewrite alot. But, I never really write with focus. I can def eliminate this. I just have to work on it.
December 3rd - Moment - Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
This is actually an easy question to answer. A week ago, I had the deepest, most emotional and adult conversation with literally the best man I know. I have never been that open and honest with a man about the way I feel. And, I’ve never had a man be so free with me. I felt every word that he spoke. They made me feel all pink and extremely girly. I was delighted and amazed. I was overcome with emotion. But, I was never afraid or ashamed of that. This is only because of him. His voice speaking those words are still on a constant loop in my mind.
December 4th - Wonder - How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year.
Wonder is not an easy thing to capture. But, somehow, I did. In every phone call and email and text from HIM, I held a small piece of wonderful in my hands and in my heart.
December 5th - Let Go - What (or whom) did you let go off this year? Why?
I let go off a girl I used to be the best of friends with. I outgrew the friendship. It was just that’s simple. We’re still cool but I wouldn’t call her my friend. Hey, it is what it is.
December 6th - Make - What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something that you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
I haven’t made anything in a while. I would love to sit and create a Jackson Pollack-inspired painting one day when I’m free. He’s one of my favorite artists. I will use bright paint colors and a nice sized piece of drawing paper.
December 7th - Community - Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create, or more deeply connect with in 2011?
The place that I’ve found community in 2010 has been on Twitter and Tumblr. I’ve had the funniest, thought provoking and funny conversations on these two sites. In 2011, I think I need to focus on an actual community.
December 8th - Beautifully Different - Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on the things that make you different - you’ll find that they are what make you beautiful.
What makes me different? I am a nurturer. I love to take care of people.I’m a great listener and have been told that I give great advice. I tend to remember very specific things about people and always remember birthdays. I think its the little things that count when it comes to family and friends. My heart makes me beautifully different.
December 9th - Party - What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drinks, clothes and shenanigans.
My little cousins high school graduation party in May. It was filled with family and friends. There was bbq and a seafood boil. We (the of age people) drank daiquiri’s and Grey Goose. The weather was sunny and then rainy and back to sunny in a 6 hour period. It was hot, very hot. There was some music from the radio. I enjoyed seeing everyone. We laughed all day. It was a great celebration
December 10th - Wisdom - What was the wisest decision you made this year and how did it play out for you?
The wisest decision I made this year was to allow myself to feel. That’s a huge deal to me because I’d put up this wall. It has played out in many unexpected ways, all incredible positive. I am so full and happy :)
December 11th - Things - What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
My 11 things are fear, loss, procrastination, drama, despair, sadness, heartbreak, anti-social attitude, distance, emo moments, and anger.
I am making a conscious effort to stay away from these elements. I try not to engage in or succumb to them. I believe that with prayer, I can continue down this path. Getting rid of these things will ultimately lead me to my own idea of contentment.
December 12th - Body Integration - This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
I always feel most integrated with my body. I’m very conscious of my body & my self image. I have been this way since I was about 17. I went from being very thin to very curvy. I like me and that is the next thing ever.
December 13th - Action - When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
My next step is actually writing this book. I mean sitting still long enough to flesh out my ideas and bring these characters to life. My procrastinating has to end.
December 14th (MY BDAY)- Appreciate - What’s the one thing/person you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude about it?
The one person that I’ve come to appreciate most in 2010 has to be KJB. There is nothing or no one who has meant more to me in the past year. I express my gratitude to him with my words. I let him know how much I appreciate him all the time with my laughter, conversations, texts, words (spoken & written) amongst other things. I’m sure he knows exactly where I stand at this point ;)
December 15th - 5 Minutes - Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in 5minutes. Set an alarm and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
I want to remember my growth this year. And all of the heart to hearts I had with each of my siblings separately this year. I would record any time I hung out with my fave cousin. I def would record the Saints epic Superbowl win and the party that I was @ when it happened. And, hanging with my other fam that weekend in March. I wanna remember the moment that he came back into my life. I def wanna remember the most important conversation and best birthday present from yesterday. All of the conversations I’ve had with my nephews and nieces, my Mom’s 50th birthday and all of the great music and literature that I’ve discovered this year. I think that about fills up my 5 minutes.
December 16th - Friendship - How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
I was given a little more insight into the life of a Muslim woman in Saudi Arabia by a friend. It really opened my eyes. This was a gradual change.
