And They Say...

…if you’re lucky then with age comes wisdom. I thought that the older you get then the more things would make sense. Specifically relationships, love, and friendships. I was wrong. Dead wrong. Have I learned things in all of my almost 34 years? Of course. Have I figured it all out? Not at all. Situations occur and I’m truly stunned by people’s actions.

I do not understand how one could be a despicable human being and look themselves in the mirror daily and be ok with that. I’m pretty straight forward. If I rock with you, you’ll know it. If I don’t, I won’t fake it for anyone. If I do not like you or care for you, I’ll keep you out of my space. It’s that simple. But, nothing in life is always so cut and dry and black and white. Too many folks live in that grey area. I’m not comfortable there. I like to know where I stand with folks. No matter if it’s positive or negative, give it to me straight.

Maybe my expectations of people, places and things were set too high from the beginning. I know I have ridiculously high expectations for myself. And, I expect people to at least be decent human beings who say what they mean. I do not believe that’s too much to ask of folks. Just be. This may result in me being alone a lot. I’m ok with that.

I’m not in the market for new friends. My circle is small but I trust them all with my life. They’ve proven themselves and vice versa. I’ve been betrayed, stabbed in the back, lied to, lied on, disrespected and had the trust broken. I’ve survived it all. It made me cherish the true ones in my life more. It’s also made me more guarded which is a catch-22.

I own every single thing that has happened to me, all that I’ve done. It’s all a part of my journey. I know what I know so far. I’m hungry for knowledge. I’m open to learning more and more. I don’t think we’re put here to figure it all out. Maybe it’s the questions and the quest for the answers are the point of life. It’s thoughts like this that cause my nightly insomnia, like tonight. What do you think?

Midnight Bowling

I went midnight bowling last weekend with my cousins. I had so much fun. I haven't been bowling since 2007. I haven't really been out in a while. My life, by my own accord, hasn't been all sunny skies and rainbows. I have been in a really awkward space for months now. I can honestly say that this family outing was needed in more ways than one. My cousins were here visiting from Colorado. Saturday was their last night here. So, we decided to take the kids and hang out. It was a boys versus girls challenge. I was great. Better than I thought I would be. But, I'm guessing that bowling is like riding a bike: you never forget. We bowled a few games while laughing and talking trash to each other. We were all into the competition, especially my little cousins. It was a really great night with my family. There was a lot of pizza/wings eating, margarita drinking, bowling going on. We all had such a great night. I only bowled one gutter ball. I, of course, bowled with a purple and blue bowl. I had to, they're my favorite colors. And, the bowling ball was adorable. I was the 2nd top bowler on my team. It was a great change from sitting at home thinking on a Saturday night. I have a feeling I will be bowling again soon. It was entirely too much fun not to. Just wanted to share my night with you guys. Hope you guys had an awesome weekend as well. 

My stylish bowling shoes and the awesome carpet.

Musical Moment: Marsha Ambrosius

Marsha Ambrosius has a voice I've loved since she first hit the musical scene. She was the angelic voice of Floetry. She is now back with her fist solo cd "Late Nights & Early Mornings." It debuts on Tuesday, March 1, 2011. Her first single was a catchy tune entitled "Hope She Cheats On You (With A Basketball Player)." It was followed by the very conscious "Far Away." The video for the second single tackles the issue of gay issues and suicide. You can preview her cd before it drops on Bossip. I happen to love the whole thing. Stand out tracks to me are "Lose Myself," "Your Hands," "I Want You To Stay," and the title track. I actually thought her first single was funny but after listening to the whole cd, I see that it isn't needed. It just does not fit in with the rest of the songs. I digress, but I still like the cd. I will be purchasing her cd. It will be a great addition to my ridiculously huge (and still growing by the second) music collection.