The "B" Word

Bitch. This word has been a topic of discussion for as long as I can remember. I've had a love/hate relationship with the word. I've arrived at a place where I can't stand for women refer to themselves as bad bitches. What is the true definition of that? Who decided that his is all we can be? I want to talk to that man because I'm sure that's where it originated. Being called a bitch doesn't warm my soul, doesn't make me smile and nor does it make sense. Yes, I know that in this Hip-Hop influenced world we live, that bad means good. But there is nothing good about being a bitch. When and if I use the word, I mean it in the most disrespectful way. I



My girls & I went through an era where we used it as a term of endearment. We were young & reckless. They were my bitches. I was their bitch. It was just what we did. We saw nothing wrong with it. In hindsight, I know that was uninformed ignorance. I wasn't offended by the word if it came from my girls. But, on the flip side of this, I was not keen on being called it by a man. I found that was disrespectful. I was not having that. It would be am argument if it happened. Disrespecting me is never a good look. That's why I like the message in Lupe Fiasco's "Bitch Bad." If you haven't heard it, please take a listen below. I live the chorus which says "bitch bad, woman good, lady better." Young women need to know that being a bitch is not a career goal and neither is being a bad one either. People seem to forget how much power that words carry. Bitch being hurled at you in an aggressive tone should have the same affect as if someone says it in a nice way. It's not a compliment. It never has been. We've gotten the message mixed up.



Music, specifically Hip-Hop, has ushered in this idea of a Bad Bitch. This is better than being a regular bitch. Honestly, I can rap every line to Webbie's "Bad Bitch." The track is very catchy. I've never referred to myself as that. That cones with age. I don't want to be called a bitch nor will I call myself that. I'm a woman, a lady, and respectful. Nothing about the word defines me. Being a bad bitch isn't something I aspire to. I think that's a young dumb woman's aspirations. I am none of that. I'm also not defined by a Hip-Hop song. I never have been. As much as I love the genre, almost 75% of the lyrics are completely foreign to my life. I just enjoy the music.
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We have to stop embracing derogatory terms. Every bad word isn't meant to be flipped into something good. I am determined to erase "bitch" in all terms out of my vocabulary. I can't speak for everyone but I need to rid myself of negative words, thoughts, and people. When you accept negativity in any form into your life, it has the power to alter you. I'm already a work in progress. I do not need any negative vibes in my cipher. That's just me though. So, if you see me, feel free to NOT address me or slander me with the word bitch. I am many things. But, I'm no man's bad bitch. And neither are none of you. We are women. Let's act accordingly & make people treat us as such. In closing, remember this "bitch bad, woman good, lady better."

"You Female!"

There is a discussion that has been taking place online for some time now. It is about the word "Female" and how degrading it is. Really? The Republicans are waging war against women's equality, fair pay and reproductive rights. And, this is what people want to harp on? Come on women, we have bigger, better fights to conquer. A "female" is defined as "a person bearing two x chromosomes in the cell nuclei and normally having a vagina, a uterus, and ovaries," or "An organism of the sex or sexual phase that normally produces egg cells." (dictionary.com) I'm confused. Does that definition not define who women are? I know that it defines me as a woman. So how did a simple term become so degrading?

I find the discussion utterly ridiculous. As women, don't we have other things to discuss? I cannot even muster up a *excuse my language* fcuk to give about it. Being called a bitch is degrading. Being called a nigger is degrading. Being called a female, which I am, is not. I am not hurt by that word. There are no negative connatations associated with this word. And, the ones I have seen seem to be particularly to the writer. Women are we that starved for drama that we have to make it up now? And, what's even more bizarre is the fact that its Black women who are having the biggest problem with the word. In 2012, Black women have so many other things to worry about. A word shouldn't be one of them. It just makes no sense.

Let me be clear, I am many things. Female and woman are always at the head of that list. They are who I am biologically. Why would that be degrading or offensive to me? It isn't nor could it truly be. I think people are up in arms behind the wrong thing. A woman is a female as is a female is a woman. They are one in the same. It's not a fight that needs to be fought. Those who are doing so should quickly have a seat. I find myself laughing as I type this. Because it is comical to say the least. We, as women, as females, need to focus our energies on other plights. If we stop paying attention to the world, the Republicans will have taken away all of our rights. Pay attemtion to what's really real, females!