Let Me Tell You About Me

We all have those moments, days when we feel less than. We aren't happy with our bodies or our hair or our jobs or situations. There are days when we feel like nothing will ever be perfect. It's normal. I want to discuss this. It isn't about what anyone else thinks of us or how the world sees us. Because even on my worst day, a compliment can only brighten my mood for a moment. I can be my harshest critic. I do hold myself to a high standard. I am harder on me than anyone else could ever be. But, this rant isn't about that. This is about celebrating myself and all the things I love about me. Because the world is a hard and cold place. But, we all need to stand in the sunshine a little more. So, no I am no where near perfect nor do I want to be. 

I'll begin with the physical. I LOVE my legs. They are a distinctly different color than the rest of me. They hardly ever darken up but I love them. Especially when I have on a dress or skirt or tights or thigh highs. My eyes are interesting. I love them the most when I am smiling so hard that they kinda disappear because of my cheeks. My cheeks are huge and they make me happy. I am obsessed with my eyebrows because, in all honesty, they are perfect. My hair is thick and glorious. My brown skin is always soft and silky. Of course, I really love my boobs. It took me a long time to accept them. When you go from barely having anything to a full C cup over a summer in high school, being overly self conscious about your boobs is normal. They are real and they are fabulous. It is a huge deal to love and accept  yourself.

I love the way I see the world. The way my mind works amazes and terrifies me. I think that I'm a dope person and I have no issues with spending time with myself. I think it's important. My love of reading and music is unmatched by anyone personally know. My thirst for knowledge is insane. I am hella silly and laughing is a must. I love that I don't take myself too seriously and can laugh at myself. I have no issues with being emotional because my feelings are valid. So if I need to cry or wonder or laugh or just stand still, I will and do. I like the fact that my friends and family come to my for advice. And that I am a great listener. There is no one like me on God's green Earth. I am unique. One of one. I was having a moment yesterday and needed to write this for myself. I encourage you all to do the same. There is more good than bad in all of us. Stop being so hard on yourself. Look into the mirror and smile at what God made. Love yourself like Kanye love himself lol. But, seriously, we all need to do this more often. That's my only point. I LOVE ME!!!!

I Can See Clearly Now...

Do you see yourself clearly? How do you see yourself? Is it in the same manner in which others do? I am sure that I do. When I look in the mirror or look introspectively, I see me. All of me. My positive, my negative and all of my in betweens. I have a very clear and true view of me. I was having a moment or three yesterday in my head and I was left wondering some things about vision, sight, and perception.

I, admittedly, am a thinker. I am constantly in my head about anything, everything, and nothing. I am also a worrier. That's just the way I handle and process things. I am my own worst critic and I know this. I see myself as the person who has to fix everything for everyone. It can become too much. I internalize things. That is a known fact about me. Even if I never show it, I take things very personally, even when I shouldn't. I took a really good long look at myself yesterday. And I realized that I was wrong in the situation. It wasn't a personal attack against me and what I feel belongs to me. I had to calm myself down and rationalize the issue in front of me. I still felt some kinda way about it. But, I accepted that this is life and things occur. I am still me and life goes on. What's the point of freaking out, inside my own head, about factors I cannot control? That solves nothing and def doesn't help anyone. I addressed a fault in myself head on and squashed it.

I am so accustomed to solving everything myself that it is hard and difficult to allow someone else to help me. I'm working on it though. It's hard to stop carrying the world on your shoulders when its all you know. But, I know I wasn't put here to do it alone. And, it's about time I fully accept the help that's being offered. I cannot constantly shut people out because I feel as if I can do it all. During my epiphany moment yesterday, I was instantly calmed. I felt really silly afterwards. That's another personality flaw of mines. I do not like to feel silly. But, as you can see, I see me clearly. Do you?