Let Me Tell You About Me

We all have those moments, days when we feel less than. We aren't happy with our bodies or our hair or our jobs or situations. There are days when we feel like nothing will ever be perfect. It's normal. I want to discuss this. It isn't about what anyone else thinks of us or how the world sees us. Because even on my worst day, a compliment can only brighten my mood for a moment. I can be my harshest critic. I do hold myself to a high standard. I am harder on me than anyone else could ever be. But, this rant isn't about that. This is about celebrating myself and all the things I love about me. Because the world is a hard and cold place. But, we all need to stand in the sunshine a little more. So, no I am no where near perfect nor do I want to be. 

I'll begin with the physical. I LOVE my legs. They are a distinctly different color than the rest of me. They hardly ever darken up but I love them. Especially when I have on a dress or skirt or tights or thigh highs. My eyes are interesting. I love them the most when I am smiling so hard that they kinda disappear because of my cheeks. My cheeks are huge and they make me happy. I am obsessed with my eyebrows because, in all honesty, they are perfect. My hair is thick and glorious. My brown skin is always soft and silky. Of course, I really love my boobs. It took me a long time to accept them. When you go from barely having anything to a full C cup over a summer in high school, being overly self conscious about your boobs is normal. They are real and they are fabulous. It is a huge deal to love and accept  yourself.

I love the way I see the world. The way my mind works amazes and terrifies me. I think that I'm a dope person and I have no issues with spending time with myself. I think it's important. My love of reading and music is unmatched by anyone personally know. My thirst for knowledge is insane. I am hella silly and laughing is a must. I love that I don't take myself too seriously and can laugh at myself. I have no issues with being emotional because my feelings are valid. So if I need to cry or wonder or laugh or just stand still, I will and do. I like the fact that my friends and family come to my for advice. And that I am a great listener. There is no one like me on God's green Earth. I am unique. One of one. I was having a moment yesterday and needed to write this for myself. I encourage you all to do the same. There is more good than bad in all of us. Stop being so hard on yourself. Look into the mirror and smile at what God made. Love yourself like Kanye love himself lol. But, seriously, we all need to do this more often. That's my only point. I LOVE ME!!!!

#30in30: Picture Perfect

Pictures are one of my favorite hobbies. I love to be able to sit and reminisce while looking at old photos. I have not always been diligent when it came to taking and keeping them though. I wasn't that concerned with them for years. As a kid, I only remember taking school pictures. In high school, I LOVED pictures. This was reinforced by the fact that I was on the newspaper and yearbook staffs. But, I still did not take a lot of pictures just for my personal stash. It was just something to do to insure that my friends and I stayed in the yearbook :) I'm not sure why some are opposed to photos so much. I need them. I snap them all the time. Pictures often times capture more than just the people on the screen. They capture a feeling, a song, a thought of something specific about that moment in time. 

After my Dad died, I realized that I did not have a lot of pictures of him. That made me so angry on top of everything else. There were 18 years of memories that we shared and pictures weren't taken. In a way, I became obsessed with documented things via photos. I still carry a camera in my purse at all times. These days I am partial to the convenience of my Evo's camera. I love pictures. I really do. There are always such good memories attached to them. I can almost remember the exact moment that each was taken. That alone makes it worth it. Memories may fade as we get older and our minds can't recall certain things. But, pictures are forever. They have no expiration date. I should start to date them and put names on the back. I don't want to be 78 and can't remember who's actually in the picture. 

Photos may not be that important to most but they represent something else to me. They are a representation of what I've experienced, where I've been, and whom I've shared them with. As I flip through the countless photo albums I have acquired over the last years, I still get sad about the lack of Daddy pictures. I take an annoying amount of pictures because I don't ever want to not have any pictures. My nieces and nephews are so used to me making them pose that they ask for pictures to be taken. I have a ridiculous amount of pictures of the 8 of them. I make no apologies about this aspect of me. Hey, we're making memories here. I know they will love to see all of the photos that I will have acquired by the time they reach high school. There is just something about having a picture to go along with the perfect story. It just works.

*Above photos: (1) 4 of nephews/niece at our last family reunion; (2) My parents holding a 4 month old me; (3) me at 3 y/o*