This was the cover of Time magazine last week. It had to be done to evoke strong emotions from people. It has become one of the controversies of last week. My first reaction was disbelief followed quickly by slight disgust. I have no issues with breastfeeding. I think the act is beyond nurturing and natural. My reaction has to do with the child's age. The kid looks 6 but he's actually almost 4. Which by the way, I think its way too old to me. Breastfeeding has been a hot topic for as long as I can remember. I wasn't expecting to see this image on a magazine cover.
I have plans to breastfeed when I have kids. It's WHAT I've always wanted to do. I know, from my own research, that it is healthier for the babies. It's also been proven that breastfed babies are smarter and have better immune systems. I would pump as well as feed from my breasts. I want to have the connection with my kids if I am able to. That's my personal choice. What I'm not a big supporter of is breastfeeding in public. I wouldn't do it. That's why I would pump beforehand.
The reason the Time magazine cover is so shocking and ridiculous to me is the child's age. The kid is almost 4 and he looks 6 easily. I believe if a child is potty trained and can speak full sentences than he/she does not need to be attached to my breast. I will not be breastfeeding a 3 year old. I think, if possible, that I would want to breastfeed my children until they were 18 - 24 months. Anything past that could lead to issues. I would hate for my child to cause a scene behind my breast in public. To each their own but this future Mommie is not for it. That's not the life I want to live.
The magazine cover puts a face and an image to a real issue. I've read stories of women breastfeeding school aged kids. That is a problem for me. It reminds me of the oral fixation stage that Freud made popular. He says that weaning a child too early or too late can lead to problems later on in life. These problems can be overeating, sarcastic oral personality, nail biting, sexual oral fixation and others. As a woman, I don't know why anyone would want to be tied down to breastfeeding a child for 3, 5, or 7 years. That's insane to me! I just don't think that would be feasible. Breastfeeding is the way I plan on going. I just won't stay on that road for years and years.
There is one person who has always had my back and my front from birth. One person who I have never wanted to disappoint or let down. One woman who's perception of me I never wanted to taint. Her name is Yolanda. She is my Mom. I do not think there are enough words in the English language for me to express my gratitude towards her. She gave up everything for my brother and I in order to give us everything. She was my first friend. She is still one of my best friends. She never judges me and she will always comfort me. I wish every one had a Mom as great as the one I was blessed with.
When I was growing up, my Mom worked a lot. Sometimes holding down 2 and 3 jobs at a time. I didn't see a whole lot of her. She provided for Ken and I in the best way she could. She did whatever it took to make sure we were taken care of. There were a lot of sacrifices.She missed alot of my extra curricular activities because she had to work. I hated that as a child. I was very involved and she couldn't be there. I get it now that if she didn't work, we wouldn't have had anything. I became very self efficient because of this. I think its one of my best traits. I don't expect people to do anything for me. I know I have to get up and get it for myself. My Mom taught me that.
I think I take her for granted. I cannot imagine my life without her in it. We haven't always seen eye to eye on many things. Especially through my teenage-high school years. Back then, I thought she was too hard on me. That she was too mean and expected too much from me. Now, in hindsight, I see what she was doing. She was preparing me for life. She was preventing me from becoming a statistic or getting caught up. She wanted more for her daughter. She got it. I wouldn't take back any of that. None of the punishments, arguments or silent treatments. I had to go through all of that with her to get to here. We talk like two adult women. I respect her so much. She demands that and she deserves it.
We do not have a perfect mother-daughter relationship. We argue as well as laugh. We're two very opinionated women, so of course we butt heads at times. But, those times are few and far between these days. Yes, she's at that age where she just wants me to get married and have kids. She wants me to be happy. And, although, her constant talk of grand kids can be slightly irritating, I get it. I get her. She only has two kids. My brother is already married and has 4 children. She is just (im)patiently waiting on me to get to it. I believe she thinks that this would complete and fulfill my life. I understand what she wants. And, I think she finally understands that I will not be doing one without the other.
I titled this post "Wind Beneath My Wings" because I feel as if without my Mom, I would be nothing. I could not stand her the woman that I am without all of her influences. She never taught me to be a shrinking violet or a follower. That just was not acceptable in her eyes. We, my brother and I, were born to be leaders. She made sure that education was a big part of our lives as well as laughter. She never sugarcoated life from us. I am so thankful for that. I was never really a naive chick because of this. She prepared me for all of it. Taught me how to handle things like a lady. I love her. I can simply say no more. My Mom is quite awesome in my eyes.
