On this week's "Love & Hip Hop," there was the epitome of a hood proposal. This reality show is funny to me. My favorite people on it are Chrissy and Jim Jones. Since day one of the first season, Chrissy has been all about taking their 8 year relationship to the next level. Jimmy doesn't seem to keen on the idea. Chrissy decides to take a vacation because she's stressed about the relationship. What ensues is some straight hood classic moments. I cannot even wrap my mind around this. But, I feel the need to share.
This was classic Jim Jones. This proposal was all him. It played out exactly the way you would imagine a hood dude like Jimmy to do. There was no down on one knee or no formal "Will you marry me?" It came a full season and a half after Chrissy threw a huge party and proposed to him. He never actually said yes. He did take the ring. But by the time season two premiered, he conveniently "lost" his ring. Chrissy promptly replaced it. They've been a couple for 8 years now. I'm not doubting that he loves her. It's clear from the show that he does. He adores her. It just doesn't seem like marriage is on his mind. From episode one, Chrissy has been hounding him for a ring. And, on Monday nights show, she got exactly what she wanted. The scene reminded me of Martin and Gina's failed proposal attempt, which you can view below.
It is not my idea of an ideal proposal. It was lackluster and not my speed. But, I think it works for them. It made Chrissy happy. It doesn't seem like Jimmy is in any rush to take that walk down any aisle. Hell, it took him this long to propose. I wouldn't be surprised if it took that same amount of time for them to get married. The consensus on Twitter falls into two categories. Either people were extremely happy for the couple or they weren't impressed by the delivery. Either way, I like them as a couple.
I don't think that pressuring a man into proposing is a good thing. I don't want it that way. I think that marriage would be doomed from the start. No woman can make a man do anything and vice versa. A proposal should come from a man's heart. It should be because he knows he was found the woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. And, a proposal should be a surprise. I don't want it to seem like it's expected. Of course, I want to be married. But, I will not hound a man to wife me. That's unladylike to me. Love is always love. That we cannot deny. Below, is one of my favorite tv proposals. Martin got it just right...the second time around. I propose that men take note of this one.
Oh and fyi, Chrissy's ring is sick!! Jimmy did great in that department. She's rocking a nice rock on her left hand these days.
Proposals are a very special thing. This public proposal has gone viral. It is just about the worst response one would like to get. This video has caused me to think about some things. If you are at the marriage level in your relationship, shouldn't you know what the answer would be before hand? I cannot even imagine being proposed to when I wasn't in love. I hate to hurt someone's feelings. But I will not accept a public marriage proposal just to save some man a little bit of embarrassment. Marriage is a big deal. It's so important to me that I only plan on doing it once.
It is clear to me from the look on this woman's face that she was not feeling it. She never once smiled or radiated happiness about the proposal. She didn't seem impressed with being serenaded. And at the 2:50 mark, you can read her lips. She clearly says "You can't fix this like this." To me, that signifies that there are huge cracks in this relationship. A proposal does not wipe out any past indiscretions or past hurts. Her reaction is classic. I remember being at a party where a friend proposef to his girl. Her response was so weird and uncomfortable. After asking us what should she say and asking if the ring was real, she finally said yes. I was so sad for him. I foresaw a life of problems for him. The wedding never happened. None of us were surprised by that. Her response to his public proposal said it all.
This is why couples should discuss something as huge as marriage. I am 100% against a public proposal. I think the moment should only be about him and I. I'm not a flashy, need to be the center of attention, all eyes on me type of chick. I prefer intimacy. I would never be ok with that type of spotlight being cast on me. I'm sure the guy in the video is embarrassed as is the woman. But, he has to know what her response would be. I'm looking forward to my marriage. The proposal, the planning, the wedding and reception are all just stops along the way. What's your take on public proposals? Are they for you? Did you have one or do you want one?
After watching BET's "Let's Stay Together" the other night, I began to think about one of the story lines. It involves a man proposing to two different women, supposedly years apart, with the same ring. Say what now? Who does this? I was disturbed and disgusted by this notion. Especially since there was no mention of said ring being an heirloom. This also led to a healthy discussion between HIM and I. Now I wanna know what my people think as well.
Here's the scenario. A guy proposes to Girlfriend A with said ring. Girlfriend A says no. Then, he later proposes to the current Girlfriend B with the same ring. All is well until A meets B randomly at a restaurant. Girlfriend A says to Girlfriend B "Oh, he gave you the ring." What?!? Imagine the shock and awe on my face. Girlfriend B had no idea that she was sporting the ring of technically another woman. Her face said it all. The sister of the guy had to fess up after Girlfriend A walked away. And, it was on.
In my opinion, if Girlfriend A said no to his proposal, then he should've returned the ring. There is no way on God's green Earth that he should have held on to the ring for the next proposal. That is just wrong and dirty. To me, it's like a hand-me-down ring or a used ring. This would be no bueno in my life. That ring in my mind is tainted with the failure of his prior relationship. And, I don't wanna drag that baggage into my marriage. I would be so upset. It isn't special anymore because it wasn't purchased specifically for me.
Girlfriend B eventually went out and got another ring on her own. She did not discuss this with her fiance'. I think that was just wrong. Granted, I get that she was mad, as she should have been. But, going behind his back and getting another ring was not the route to go. Two wrongs will never make a right. There was no real communication between this engaged couple about their feelings. that is a big red flag to me.
When I am proposed to, I want it all specifically designed around me and my relationship with him. I mean from the venue to the ring. In the words of Samantha Jones from SATC "Exactly honey, wrong ring, wrong guy." I would hope that he knows me well enough to know what I'd like and what I would despise (like a gold ring ewww). To me, my engagement ring would be the most important piece of jewelry (along with my wedding band). So, sue me, for wanting something special and specifically for me *Kanye shrug*
Anyway, I would really like to know what you guys think. Was the boyfriend on "Let's Stay Together" right or wrong in re-using the ring? Was his fiancee right or wrong for getting a new ring? Does the ring really mean a thing? Talk to me!!
This is a Tiffany Novo engagement set. It is a brilliant cushion-cut creation with spirit, fire and style. It is retailed at $11,500 (1 ct.) - $42,600 (2.5 ct).
