I am a Joe Budden fan. Dude is mad lyrical in my book. I have followed his career since "Pump It Up." There were some major tracks on his debut cd that never were released. My favorite song by Joey is "10 Minutes." It was a very raw and honest track. In later years the line "some days I don't wanna be bothered, some days I just miss my Father" meant more to me than anything. It was like he was speaking my thoughts. So, for this Ladies Love Lyrics post I went Hip Hop. He also performed this song the other night at Highland during his concert. I follow him on Twitter. He is very funny and blunt. I enjoy his tweets as much as I do his music. So here are two different videos of him performing "10 Minutes." And, also the verse that I love the most. Enjoy!
Some days I don't wanna be bothered
Some days I just miss my father (damn)
Some days I just miss my father
Some days I wanna relapse on redline
Cuz he'll be gone for 26 months fed time
I try to maintain through all this
And pray to God Pop keep the same clean date and 4 dicks
My pockets flat kid
You do the math on $5.15 an hour full time after taxes
That wasn't good enough to keep my MO
Sh-t that wasn't good enough to complete my demo, for real
Some days I don't wanna be seen
And some days I don't shower, I don't wanna be clean
Look, sometimes the truth could hurt you
So I blow my cig smoke right after the Truth commercial
Some days I don't wanna be bothered
Some days I just miss my father
And even if by a miracle he makes it half way out
It wont be parole y'all, it be the half way house but NAH
That's not the right path for a Budden
Cuz we're addicts, addicts can't do half of nothing
Some days I'm reaching for the thing in the dresser
Some days I'm not invincible and I feel the pressure
Like if everyone's depending on me, and I just stop
Then what the f--k happens?
I can't take that route and girl out
And sometimes I don't wanna hear my girls mouth cause
My hectic schedule, she ain't considerate
So all I hear is the complaints and bickering
Radio's, studio's, photo shoot's
She think I'm f--kin every girl that say I'm oh so cute, cute
Don't appreciate a man and you lose him
Worst thing to do to an innocent man is accuse him
And I ain't with beefing with home's
Bran Nubian style, I had to love ma' but leave her alone
It ain't working out, I'll see you aight
Just let go and let God see if we reunite
Cuz with yo sh-t added to the dudes that wanna see me fall
Nah, f--k it I won't fall
Let me talk to all of you dudes praying that I lose it all
I ain't come this far to fall, fall
But listen, I'm f--ked up now
Don't ask why y'all
Sometimes the best medicine is just to cry y'all
Know what I'm saying?
Excuse my voice fans, that should be a sign that I identify with what I'm saying
Cuz it's these type of thoughts that'll kill ya
If you smoking' with me right now, then you a good way from the filter
And I won't front like I ain't stressing
Sometimes I need a hug, real sh-t,
pain sh-t is pain lesson...
Showing posts with label joe budden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joe budden. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Officially Missing You
"Some days I don't wanna be bothered. Some days I just miss my father." - Joe Budden "Ten Minutes"
I woke up with my Dad on my mind. I feel like Joe Budden today. I really miss my Father. He's been gone almost 13 years. It still hurts. He was killed in the New Orleans neighborhood he grew up in. He was the victim of a robbery gone bad. I'm still upset that his murder is a cold case. No arrest, trial and no conviction. My family has no closure. He's just gone. And, that makes this whole situation much sadder to me and my family. I, no we, needed him. And, we didn't even get to say goodbye.
I hate that he was taken from me right when we were re-establishing a relationship. I hate that I will never hear him calling me "Yo! Kenda Raps" or singing to me on my birthday. The fact that he will never walk me down the aisle or meet my future kids bothers me. I want to believe that being a grandfather would have agreed with him. That it would have made him mature. I think he would've gotten a kick out of being called Papaw. He missed out on graduations, birthdays, births, weddings, and just random family gatherings. His presence is clearly and noticeably missing from the family.
I miss the most simple things about him. His laughter was always deep and rich, as if he felt it deep in his soul. He was a natural comedian. He was well liked and well received every where he went. Everyone knew and loved him. He was just that kind of guy. He was a poet and loved music. I get that from him. Hell, I even miss arguing with him. We did that a lot. We bumped heads because we were both stubborn and headstrong. We were two sides of the same coin. Or as my Mom always said "I was his two bit change." I never expected to lose him so young. I was only 18 and in my second year in college. I remember that day so clearly. The phone call that changed my entire life. I was never the same after that. How could I be? None of us were prepared for something so tragic to befall our family. We never thought that it would happen to us. But we were so wrong.
I'm in no way attempting to martyr my Dad. He wasn't perfect. He was gone more than he was in me or my siblings lives. He was more out than in. Truth be told, my Mom played the role of both parents then and still does. But, every child needs their Father. In some ways, we missed out. I'm grateful for my uncles and Godfather though. I had great male influences in my life to pick up the Father slack. I can say I grew up very well rounded.
But, he was my Dad. I hate that I can't pick up the phone to call him, yell at him, anything. He was ours and some punk took him from us. My siblings missed out on so much with him. My baby sister was only 2 when he died. It still makes me so angry. That she will never have what we all had with him. I feel like my siblings more than I were robbed of knowing him, growing with him. they were all so young when he was killed. They missed out on so much of him. And, they didn't deserve that.
I try to hold onto my memories of him. Honestly, its getting harder to remember the simplest things. I hate that my memories are slowly slipping away. And, there seems to be nothing that I can do to hang on to them, to him. That makes me so sad. I try not to succumb to this intense emotion. It's easier some days. I'm fighting it today. I just miss him so much, some days more than others. I just hope wherever he is that he's proud of me and knows that I love him.
RIP Kenneth Jerome Hawkins Sr.
I woke up with my Dad on my mind. I feel like Joe Budden today. I really miss my Father. He's been gone almost 13 years. It still hurts. He was killed in the New Orleans neighborhood he grew up in. He was the victim of a robbery gone bad. I'm still upset that his murder is a cold case. No arrest, trial and no conviction. My family has no closure. He's just gone. And, that makes this whole situation much sadder to me and my family. I, no we, needed him. And, we didn't even get to say goodbye.
I hate that he was taken from me right when we were re-establishing a relationship. I hate that I will never hear him calling me "Yo! Kenda Raps" or singing to me on my birthday. The fact that he will never walk me down the aisle or meet my future kids bothers me. I want to believe that being a grandfather would have agreed with him. That it would have made him mature. I think he would've gotten a kick out of being called Papaw. He missed out on graduations, birthdays, births, weddings, and just random family gatherings. His presence is clearly and noticeably missing from the family.
I miss the most simple things about him. His laughter was always deep and rich, as if he felt it deep in his soul. He was a natural comedian. He was well liked and well received every where he went. Everyone knew and loved him. He was just that kind of guy. He was a poet and loved music. I get that from him. Hell, I even miss arguing with him. We did that a lot. We bumped heads because we were both stubborn and headstrong. We were two sides of the same coin. Or as my Mom always said "I was his two bit change." I never expected to lose him so young. I was only 18 and in my second year in college. I remember that day so clearly. The phone call that changed my entire life. I was never the same after that. How could I be? None of us were prepared for something so tragic to befall our family. We never thought that it would happen to us. But we were so wrong.
I'm in no way attempting to martyr my Dad. He wasn't perfect. He was gone more than he was in me or my siblings lives. He was more out than in. Truth be told, my Mom played the role of both parents then and still does. But, every child needs their Father. In some ways, we missed out. I'm grateful for my uncles and Godfather though. I had great male influences in my life to pick up the Father slack. I can say I grew up very well rounded.
But, he was my Dad. I hate that I can't pick up the phone to call him, yell at him, anything. He was ours and some punk took him from us. My siblings missed out on so much with him. My baby sister was only 2 when he died. It still makes me so angry. That she will never have what we all had with him. I feel like my siblings more than I were robbed of knowing him, growing with him. they were all so young when he was killed. They missed out on so much of him. And, they didn't deserve that.
I try to hold onto my memories of him. Honestly, its getting harder to remember the simplest things. I hate that my memories are slowly slipping away. And, there seems to be nothing that I can do to hang on to them, to him. That makes me so sad. I try not to succumb to this intense emotion. It's easier some days. I'm fighting it today. I just miss him so much, some days more than others. I just hope wherever he is that he's proud of me and knows that I love him.
RIP Kenneth Jerome Hawkins Sr.
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