Hurricanes. Tsunamis. Earthquakes. Floods. Tornadoes. Natural disasters seem to be in the rise. I do not believe that I've ever paid this much attention to such things. Hurricane Katrina opened my eyes to a lot. Before that, I thought I was untouchable. I never imagined that in a matter of minutes that everything that I knew and loved could be swept away by a hurricane or submerged under water. Mother Nature has been showing out lately. I, for one, do not believe that this trend is gonna let up anytime soon. Climate changes have been the leading cause of this changes. There is so much that we have done to the Earth and it seems as if we are paying for it now. Most natural disasters arrive without any warning. There is no time to prepare or leave. In a matter of minutes, life changes.
The tornadoes in the South have been devastating. The death toll is now at 318. There were at least 153 tornadoes. This has been the deadliest tornado outbreak since the Great Depression. That is amazing to me. I am so sad for the people who have lost their lives. I feel for the people who have lost their homes, belongings and livelihood. I know how distraught they must be. There is no feeling that compares to losing everything that you know and all that you have. It is so disheartening and there is so much despair. I am praying for the calm that has to be on its way. We need it.
Natural disasters are a blameless crime. There is no one to be angry at. There is no one to point the finger at. Its hard to pick up and rebuild. This is a trying time for anyone who has been affected by the tornadoes. After, Katrina, I cried a lot. that was the only thing i could do. I was hurting. My city was underwater. My people were unaccounted for. and, my life as I knew it was over. That is a lot for one person to deal with. It's tough to get the strength to get up and start over. From the earthquakes in Japan that lead to the tsunami to the earthquake in Haiti, the world is suffering from this. There were birds that dropped dead from the sky in January. It's almost Biblical. That is scary. Hurricanes, tsunamis, and tornadoes, oh my. Stay prayed up, people!
I am a very girly girl. I happen to love weddings and dresses and the whole nine. I did not however have any intention on watching the early morning nuptials of Prince William and Kate. But, alas, I was up and found myself watching. I could not stop watching it. For the last two weeks, I have been well over the media hoopla surrounding this couple. I decided that I was not interested. But, as soon as I turned the tv on, I could not stop watching it. It was indeed a modern day fairytale. Everybody loves a little magic and mystery in their world. That is what William and Kate represented to me this morning.
The only thing I was mildly interested in was the dress. Kate's dress did not disappoint at all. It was exquisite and pretty. It was simple and elegant and gorgeous. I am not a fan of lace or sleeves on wedding dresses. But, all of these facts worked in her favor. She later changed into another stunning dress for the reception. I loved it as well. The actual wedding was a lot of traditional rituals and ran too long for my taste. I was intrigued by the fact that the couple does not kiss during the actual ceremony. The plethora of hats worn by the women in attendance had my complete attention. It was clear to me that this was a wedding between two people very much in love. That made me smile. I am glad that I was awaken to watch the wedding. It was so great to watch it.
There is no other way to say this. We are not in a post-racial America because our President is Barack Obama. The Tea Party, Donald Trump, Republicans calling for our elected President's long form birth certificate is every bit as racial. Never in our history, has a President been asked such absurd things. Now, folks are calling for his college transcripts. Really America?? No one questioned the intelligence of George W. Bush or Sarah Palin. Both of them were questionable students with lackluster grades. But a Harvard Law grad gets a second look? What type of foolishness is this?
I came across a great article via Facebook. It was posted on the site The Grio by a Goldie Taylor. It sums up everything I think about this whole situation. It is impossible for anyone to ascend to the office of President of this United States without being properly looked into. All paperwork, credentials, and the like are investigated. Even furthermore, the thought that Mr. Obama's mother and grandparents knew that the little boy born on August 4, 1961 would grow up to attend Columbia, graduate magna cum laude from Harvard Law, become a senator in Chicago and eventually become President. I'm sorry but that conspiracy theory in comical and implausible. And, I serious wonder about the mental capacity of anyone who wholeheartedly believes any of this.
I could actually respect these birthers more if they just say what it is that they are really mad about. Just say that you are angry about the fact that a Black man is running a country that was essentially built on the backs of many Blacks. I have no love for racist people. As a Black woman in America, my plight has been hard enough. I am angry that our President is having to produce papers that will not appease his detractors. Nothing he does will ever be good enough for them. Because the one thing he cannot change or fix is the fact that he is a proud Black man. And, one thing they cannot change or erase is the fact that he is our President. Elected by the people, for the people. That is the truth. It is what it is.
"The office of Presidency isn't being attacked. Black brilliance is. Black "citizenship" is." - dream hampton, writer
I shake my head at the ridiculousness of Donald Trump and that dead rug on his head. He is the new Sarah Palin. A lot of talk and fluff with no substance or intelligence underneath it. I have no respect for that. I'm sorry but if Trump can walk around with that ferret on his head and thinks it looks good, I cannot trust him to run my country. And, he's also filed for bankruptcy 6 times. He has a habit of not finishing what he's started. Sorry, but I will be Baracking my vote again in 2012 for my President. I believe that he was born here. I believe that he is doing a great job with what was left at his doorsteps. He still is the best person for the job. I did not need to see his birth certificate to know that he is a American citizen. In the words of President Barack Obama, "we do not have time for silliness."
"We're not going to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers," said President Barack Obama
I think everybody should do this. It will make you think.
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Still would be 31. I'm good right here.
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying. I can recover from a fail. But, never knowing what I could've done or accomplished is too heavy of a burden for me to carry for the rest of my life.
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
If I had my way? No. I would want my words to match up to my actions.
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
Racism really infuriates me. I would love to bring my future children into a colorless worls.
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Writer.
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
Very much settling unfortunately. This is a temporary situation though.
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I would take more chances and risks than I do now. I’ve been very cautious with my choices. Throwing caution to the wind.
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
More often than not, I've been the only one controlling my life.
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
My answer is complex like myself. I'm more concerned with doing the right things right.
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
My only response would be to defend her. I wouldn't let someone talk about my friend in my presence. I would also let them know that they should have this conversation with her.
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Love your individuality. If you do that fiercely, you will never lose your way.
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Immediate family? Sure.
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Yes. I think the most tortured souls who are artists create the most beautiful work.
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Mentally exploring all the possibilities of every situation. From the mundane to the clearly ridiculous, I play them all out in my mind. I also hear music differently than almost everyone I know.
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because I'm me lol. I call myself weird. I'm ok with that.
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Continent-hopping. Money, work and life are my roadblocks.
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Yes unfortunately.
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
-Dallas, TX - Because that's where my love lives. -Mykonos Island, Greece - I've been infatuated with this country since I was 13. I would live here with my love & our future 6 kids.
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Yes, I do. I know it doesn't.
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
A worried genius. I crave knowledge. I can handle the worry, been doing that for 31 years.
Why are you, you?
I am me because of everything I've been through, the things I've excelled at, and failed at. My voice is unique. I use my talents. I think before I speak. In the words of Anaïs Nin, I write emotional algebra. There will never be anyone else like me. I'm an individual, a leader, a loving spirit and soul who's often misunderstood. I'm Kenda, nice to meet you.
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Yes. I am a great friend. Ask about me.
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Losing touch with a good friend who lives near me is the worse. Only because it means the two of us have allowed life to get in the way of keeping the lines of communication open. That would make me sad.
What are you most grateful for?
Life in itself. I'm just blessed to still be here.
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
This is a tough one. My last memories are dear to me. But not being able to create new ones would suck tremendously.
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
No that's not possible. You have to investigate everything for yourself.
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
No and I pray that it never does.
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
I clearly don't remember. And, that means it doesn't matter anymore.
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
I have a lot of those. They always involved my family being together. Nothing made me happier as a kid.
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
The day I realized I had fallen in love. I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't looking for it. The relationship I'm in just led me to love. That epiphany brighten not just my day but my life. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a woman in love.
If not now, then when?
It needs to be now.
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
N/A
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Yes.
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
I think people believe their religion and their God is ultimately superior to everyone else's. I don't get that.
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
No. I think good and evil is subjective. A person can possess both attributes.
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
No. A million dollars doesn't go far in 2011. I mean, after taxes, purchasing a house, paying off Sallie Mae, and putting some money in the bank, I'm back where I started. I'm gonna be back at my job the next day.
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More of the work I actually enjoy doing because then I wouldn't be working at all.
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Oh no, not at all. That would kinda suck though.
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
It's been a long time. I need to do it again.
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Kristopher.
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Nope.
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Being alive is just existing. Truly living is taking charge of your life.
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
Sometimes you have to stop calculating and start doing. The time for action is now.
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Because mistakes hurt and who willingly wants to be hurt?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I’d tell certain people exactly how I feel about them without my politically correct filter.
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
I'm always aware of it.
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love many things. I love music. I love poetry. I love tulips. I express it all the time openly.
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
I seriously doubt that on 5th years that I will specifically remember yesterday or the day before that or the day before that. I'll be to busy enjoying my present.
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I make my decisions. I know what's ultimately best for me.
At this time In this place you are , are all mine And at this moment in my life, you belong to me.. to me.. Ohhhh weee.Ohh .. ooooo.. ohh
I don't think its wrong I cant help it My mind asks my heart If she felt it (I did) I can only ask for so much (please) I will settle for this touch (right here) My arms brag to each other about how you feel (feel so good) From conversations I know what they feel is... real
The past it didnt last The present went too fast (too fast) The future so will be I wish that far I could see but
At this time at this time (at this time) In this place, you are mine And at this moment In my life You belong to me Oh to me
Forgive me if my hunger conflicts what you wish (im so sorry) I pray that for moments you will only be consumed by me Often times we receive and then regret I havent had a reason yet (not yet)
This is the time God meant for us to be ( night now) This is the place he allowed us to meet ( right here)
Today is Easter. The day that Jesus rose from the dead. Three days after he was crucified for our sins. It is Resurrection Sunday. What does that have to do with bunnies, candy & eggs? I've wondered this for years. They don't seem to have anything in common.
After a quick Google search, I found some answers. The introduction of bunnies and eggs came by way of a Stan tradition. Those symbols are linked to a goddess of fertility. Fertility is also linked to the spring. The candy was added later on as the holiday day became more commercialized. Somewhere along the way, the real and true meaning of the resurrection of Jesus became misconstrued.
To me, these things make the holiday very light and fun. And, I guess that is fine for kids. But, along with the fun, we cannot forget that message and meaning of the enormity of what Jesus did for us. He died for our sins. We live because he died and rose again. I'm not a super religious woman. But I am a spiritual being. These are just my thoughts on a day like today. We have to remember all that we won't forget.
I am a huge fan of quizzes, questionnaires, and surveys. They intrigue me a lot. I like to see my results at the end. I really love to look back on certain ones a year later to see how much I've changed. That is a huge habit of mine. Self reflection works for me. Here's a survey is one I recently took. It was very random but fun for me. You guys should try it out as well. Leave your answers in the comment section. Enjoy!
“Fifty Little Secrets" - Be honest no matter what.
1. Who was your last text from?
Kristopher.
2. Where was your default pic taken?
In my bathroom.
3. Your relationship status?
Taken & loved :)
4. Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yes & it hurts like hell.
5. What is your current mood?
Sleepy, thankful, loved, horny, reflective, did I say sleepy? Oh ok.
6. What’s your sister(s) name(s)?
Kennesha, Shanterri, Matika.
7. What do you wish you were right now?
I wish I was more.
8. Have a crazy side?
I guess…
9. Ever had a near death experience?
No.
10. Something you do a lot?
Talk to Kristopher, read, listen to music.
11. Angry at anyone?
Oh hell yes.
12. When was the last time you cried?
A week or so ago, I think.
13. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
A select few.
14. Who do you think about when you are falling asleep?
Kristopher.
15. Do you still have pictures of an ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
I’m sure I do…somewhere…
16. What was the last thing in your mouth?
Tea.
17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Kristopher.
18. What is your favorite song?
At the moment? “Run The World (Girls)” Beyonce
19. What are you doing right now?
Laying in bed & talking to Kristopher.
20. Who do you trust right now?
I trust a great group of people.
21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
USL on Lagniappe Day 2002
22. Last girl you hung out with?
Manii
23. Describe your life in two words?
Understandable chaos.
24. Who are you thinking of right now?
My God-daughter, Shi.
25. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping…zzzzzzzz.
26. What are you listening to?
Jessie J’s “Big White Room”
27. Does it annoy you when PEOPlEzz TAlk likE THiS?
Yes, it’s very annoying.
28. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
Idk. It’s been a while.
29. Do you act differently around the person you like?
I think I’m a more relaxed version of me.
30. What is your natural hair color?
Dark Brown.
31. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Kristopher.
32. Who was the last person to make you sad?
Myself.
33. What do you think is/are your main seven deadly sin(s)?
1. Worry
2. Fear
3. Anticipation
4. Introspection
5. Pride
6. Gluttony
7. Love
34. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
I have not a clue.
35. Has anyone ever called you “scrumptious” before?
Ironically, yes.
36. Do you enjoy reading?
I do.
37. Gone skinny dipping in the past week?
Negative.
38. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
Yes.
39. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes…fun times.
40. Are you happy with life right now?
Happy is subjective. Some days yes, some days not as much.
41. Are you currently jealous?
Negative.
42. Have you ever been suspended from school?
Yes.
43. What are you doing Friday night?
I do not know.
44. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.
45. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Yes, totally unintentionally.
46. Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now?
Yes, a little bit :(
47. What are you looking forward to?
The next chapter in my book of life. New career, marriage, house, kids, and all the happiness that it is sure to bring me.
48. How late did you stay up last night and why?
3ish…insomnia is no joke.
49. Does anyone like you right now?
Of course :)
50. What do want to achieve most in life?
I want to write something great that people remember long after I’m gone.
I am a Beyonce' fan. Which is surprising because I was not a fan when she was a part of Destiny's Child. I thought she was a mic hog. I have been waiting for her to return with new music. She did just that today when she dropped "Run The World (Girls)." This song is a hit in my ears and eyes. I love the beat and the theme. Women (girl) empowerment songs are always a good look to me. I have had the song on repeat since I purchased it via amazon tonight. I cannot wait to hear her whole cd. I have a feeling that the name of it will be "B Revolution."
Over-thinking. Over-analyzing. Stressing out. All parts of my life that I could use a whole lot less of. I am just about over it and them. I am always in my head. about anything and everything. Even after I've made a decision, I am still thinking about it. I analyze people, places, and things non-stop. It is commonplace with me. It's a part of my DNA. It's what I do. Some say it is my Sagittarian nature. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know its who I am.
Sometimes there are questions that I have agonized over in my head for weeks. I hate to ask them. But, the answers are needed dearly in my life. I can literally make myself ill with worry. It's really not a healthy habit. I just do not know any other way. I am who I am. All of my little idiosyncrasies make me who I am. I do not worry others with this issue. I tend to keep it to myself for the most part. People always tell me not to stress over over think. But, that is easier said than done. It's very hard to break life long habits that are a deep part of your character.
Over-thinking and over-analyzing a situation does nothing for the situation honestly. It just stresses me out even more. I hate to fail. I would hate to make the wrong choice about something that could affect me for life. But what does calm me down is the fact that I know that life is always about those choices. that no matter what choice I make or don't make, life goes on. And that if I mess it up (which I def have in the past and will probably do in the future), I can fix it in my future. Free will is kind of awesome like that. My outside demeanor is always pretty cool. I'm really good at that. I have decided that working on this is a priority for me. Fingers crossed and prayers sent up that I can do it.
When I started this blog, my purpose was just get myself writing again. It has since become about more than just writing for me. It's like an online journal of my life now. My happiness, my sadness, my trials and tribulations are all bared here on my blog for the world to see. Writing keeps me accountable for my actions. So with that thought in mind, I decided to blog about the things I cannot shake no matter how right and good my life is. These are the things I fear the most about the uncertainty of life and the unknown. I don't know if this is courageous or crazy at this point. But, in all honesty, it's what's on my heart at this moment. So I'm going with it. i think that maybe if I write about it, I can abolish or alleviate them. either way, here I go.
My Fears:
* Writing this blog right now.
* That despite my best efforts that I will end up alone. Being alone is my biggest deepest fear. I am sure this stems from the people I've loved the most leaving.
* That I will never live up to my full potential.
* That I will hurt those who love me and that I love.
* That I will squander my God given talent away.
* That I will never have children. I mean, I am almost 31 1/2 years old. I hear my biological clock ticking LOUDLY.
* And on the other side of the above, I have long feared that I would be a single parent. I'm guessing that is why I have been so diligent with birth control methods. I did not think I was strong enough to raise a child on my own.
* That in the end, none of it will matter anyway.
(this list will grow and shrink depending on my mood...which sucks by the way right now)
Ok, maybe this is the day that I have to write a song about love
its about time
L.O. L.O. L.O. L.O.V.E. Love
I said I’d never write a song about love
but when it feels this good
a song fits like a glove
when you hold me, and you tell me
that you missed me, and call me milky
fuck it, Imma write a song about love, yeea
You're my key, you unlock me
keep me close, keep me safe, keep me happy
so sweet, ooooooh looooove
it’s destiny, so nothing stops me
I’ll tell the world that your mine, and you got me
so sweet, ooooooh looooove
I’m in loooove,
I’m in love,
I’m in looooooove,
I’m in love,
I’m in loooove,
L.O.V.E love
see love doesn’t choose a boy, or a girl, nope
when I met you, you hugged my heart and filled my world
so you can stare
I don’t care
you're the one that ain’t going nowhere
so fuck it, Imma be honest, with you cause
you're my key, you unlock me
keep me close, keep me safe, keep me happy
so sweet, ooooooh looooove
it’s destiny, so nothing stops me
I’ll tell the world that you're mine, and you got me
so sweet, ooooooh looooove
I’m in love,
I’m in love,
I’m in love,
I’m in love
my best friend, that makes me laugh,
the puzzle piece that fits exact to my half
I’ve never felt this way
sometimes I’m stuck with what to say
you hold my hands when I’m driving
you dry my tears if I’m crying
and we just laugh if were fighting
I love you,
I love you more,
I love you more more,
You love me more,
I love you more,
loooooooooooooooooooooooove,
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea,
I love you more,
yeeeeeeea
I love poetry. I write it, live it, love it. April is National Poetry Month. This piece is a new favorite. Enjoy!!
Unprotected Poetry by Larry Jaffe
I had unprotected poetry last night it was unexpected you know spontaneous and we did not use anything we just went at it to keep the mood.
It was incredible but not safe and now I am worried cause it can be infectious and dangerous to say things without a condom. It could be disastrous to speak without protection
A guy should not have unprotected poetry he should take more responsibility than that not just leave it up to the girl.
It was so irresponsible of me to have unprotected poetry to not even ask or consult her about poetry control methods she might be using or gulp not using.
What if she gets poetically pregnant and wants to have my poem?
Or what if she has some kind of poetically transmitted disease you know PTD – and we have to wait and see what happens taking regular poetry tests to see if we’ve got it.
But wow we actually did it last night –
We had poetry…
How many people in this day and age have pure unprotected poetry?
We should be thankful for that after all it was good poetry we both really enjoyed it!
We soared like angels without wings never coming down just coming poetically, that is.
But what a high to hit that climax and feel like you will never be mortal again…
Now that you’ve had unprotected poetry who can protect you?
Now that you’ve had unsafe poetry and want to do it again and again and again…
Cause it don’t feel the same with a poetic condom blocks off the all feeling and the flow.
And the words the words are stopped short with safe protected poetry and I will never write that way again!
My body is a journal in a way. It's like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself, whether you do it yourself with a knife or with a professional tattoo artist. ---- Johnny Depp
Tattoos. Body Art. Whatever you call it, I love them. I have been infatuated with tattoos since I was in high school. I am a huge fan of huge back pieces...on other folks. I just believe that, when done right, tattoos can be so artistic and lovely. I am a huge fan of the arts in all forms. Tattoos, to me, are artful pieces. I find them interesting and love knowing the story behind them. It literally fascinates me.
I got my first tattoo at 18 years old in my second semester of my freshman year of Undergrad. A tattoo artist named Earth did it. He worked at the House of Pain. Great name right? I remember that the receptionist answered the phone, "House of Pain, how can we hurt you?" It was a random Friday night in February. We (my friends Shay and Quin) were bored. So we decided that we wanted tattoos. My first tattoo is on my back, kinda off centered, and close to my spine. It is a heart (one of my favorite things still) with a music note going through it. I loved it because I felt it represented me and my intense love of everything musical. It hurt at first. But, the conversation and my excitement overshadowed my pain. I loved it. I was so glad to have my first tattoo.
I acquired my second tattoo less than two months later. I was clearly becoming an addict. It was done at another tattoo shop in Lafayette on a whim. Ironically, Earth was my tattoo artist again. He and I became fast friends. T time I wanted something dainty and uber girly. I chose a rose, in blue on my right ankle. This tattoo hurt like hell because it is directly on a bone. But, I loved it any way. I was done in all of 20 minutes. I love this tattoo even more now. It actually looks more like a black rose from the immediate exposure to the sun and color fading. It is 13 years old now.
After that, I chilled on my tattoo habit. I did not get another for 7 years. My final (as of now) tattoo is on the same of my back. It is two Japanese symbols that translate into "Loyalty is beautiful." This tattoo hurt like hell. It was the worst pain ever. I was not prepared at all for this. I'm sure this is why I haven't gotten another tattoo yet. This was 8 years ago. I do want one or two more pieces. Very small ones though. I would love something on the inside of my left wrist. I do not know where else I would want one. I just love them. Tattoos are not for everyone. I don't judge people for having them or not. I just know what I like and what makes me smile. Tattoos happen to fall into that category.
* Today is my Godson's Mason birthday. He is 10!! I cannot believe it. Tomorrow is my Goddaughter Shi's birthday. She will be 10 as well. Where did the years go?? I love those two sooo much.
* Life is better when there are snowballs and sunny days involved.
* I have rediscovered Butterfingers and I am officially hooked!
* Jessie J, Adele, and King have been getting a ridiculous amount of play over the last two weeks.
* Peach Cosmos are still the business.
* Had major plans to deactivate my FB page and then a load of cousins on my dad's side found me on there. So, needless to say, I am still an activate FBer.
* I internalize a lot of things. And, I know that makes me ill. but, strangely enough, I haven't found another copping mechanism. I need to research that more.
* I have been out of words all week. Had not one single topic that I felt deeply enough about to blog about. I hate when that happens.
* Family - ugh!!! They are the quintessential epitome of the gift and the curse.
* Break outs are annoying as hell. I have to be proactive in addressing this issue. So, I am off soda and kool aid and the like. Water will become my best friend again.
* Finally mixed up my own body butter. I used raw and organic cocoa, shea, mango, almond, avocado and kokum butter, vitamin e, as well as grapeseed, coconut, sunflower, sweet almond, and lavender essential oils. It looks great. It smells better. Cannot wait to see how this turns out.
* This whole back and forth thing I have going on with going natural is intense. I'm so confused?!?
* I need to go shopping. Soon.
* Sometimes, I unintentionally hurt those I love. I can be very careless. I need to do better. Just as simple as that.
* I need to exercise. It's not something I like but I need to get into it.
* Random conversations can be quite enlightening.
* I miss Def Poetry :(
* I sometimes wonder if I am fully expressing myself vocally. And, if I'm not, how can I go about changing this?
* I am thankful for certain things not working out. Because if they had, I wouldn't be here writing this for you guys! Life is very strange that way.
There are some tv shows that you just connect with from the first episode. That show can also spark quotes that define who you are, what you will become, and where you will go. "Sex and the City" is that show for me. there are a plethora of quotables from this great show. Today, this one means the most to me while I'm on this journey called life. Enjoy!
"I MAKE MISTAKES. THAT'S WHAT I DO. I SPEAK WITHOUT THINKING. I ACT WITHOUT KNOWING. I DRINK SO MUCH THAT I CAN BARELY WALK. I'M A FANTASTIC LOVER THOUGH, AND AN AMAZING FRIEND. GOD KNOWS I MEAN WELL." - Carrie Bradshaw
I heard this today and it brought me back. I've always loved this song and it always makes me feel good. I think that music scene today is mising some of the heart and soul of music from the 80's and 90's. Anyway, feel free to vibe out with me :) Troop "Spread My Wings"
Nancy Wilson has one of the most recognizable voices in jazz. She is a legend and an icon. I have been a fan since she played Martin's mother on "The Cosby Show." She sang on an episode and I was hooked. This is one of my favorite songs by her. The lyrics are so soulful. Her voice cannot be denied.
"The very thought of you and I forget to do The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do I'm living in a kind of daydream I'm happy as a king And foolish though it may seem To me that's everything
The mere idea of you, the longing here for you You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you I see your face in every flower Your eyes in stars above It's just the thought of you The very thought of you, my love
The mere idea of you, the longing here for you You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you I see your face in every flower Your eyes in stars above It's just the thought of you The very thought of you, my love"
Why is it so easy to fall into a same routine? Humans are creatures of habit. We tend to stick to what we know. Change is scary. And who likes the unknown? I definitely do not. I fight it, resist it and finally I give in. It's never an easy adjustment for me.
I repeatedly follow the same routine. Because it's familiar to me. It's what works for me. Changing my routine will take huge effort on my part. I feel like I need to shake things up. My routine has become mundane. I'm too young to be stuck in a rut. But I feel like I am though.
I need to change. It's just that simple. A major change to my life is long overdue. I've outgrown my comfort zone. I've stayed too long in this one spot. Something has to shake. I'm bored with my mundane routine. I'm so bored I could cry. I am craving the newness. I need it, want it, have to have it. I am searching for my starting point for my change. I'm no longer that girl. It's time to become this woman. She's been waiting in the wings long enough.
Change is inevitable. It is expected and needed. I'm grabbing hold to mine and riding it for all it's worth. Routines are easy whole change is hard. Hard can be extremely more gratifying. Hard work pays off in the end. Are you ready to shake up your routine? What kind of change are you anticipating?
...because some days, we all could use a pick me up or an extra push. Today is definitely one for me.
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Theodore Roosevelt
Be nice to people on your way up because you'll need them on your way down. Wilson Mizner
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. Helen Keller
If you are going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill
The best of times is now. Oprah Winfrey
Whatever you are, be a good one. Abraham Lincoln
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein
Do all things with love. Og Mandino
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. Kahlil Gibran
Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules. J. D. Salinger
The goal of life is living in agreement with nature. Zeno
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about. Oscar Wilde
April is National Poetry Month. So I've decided to share some of my favorite pieces with you weekly. Poetry is one of my absolute favorite things.
Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost
Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.
How good of a cook are you? Is cooking a source of pleasure for you? I cannot honestly say that cooking gives me that pleasure. Cooking is an area in my life that I want to improve. I can cook. Let's be clear about that. I am a good cook. But, I am smart enough to know that I can always improve my skills. I need to work on this aspect in my life. I feel like something is missing in my kitchen skills. I do not like admitting that. But, I am focused on fixing this and soon. Cooking is an area that I know I can improve on.
I haven't experimented a whole lot when it comes to cooking. I think that has to do with the fact that I'm usually only cooking for one. I am happier when I am cooking for a group. The kitchen is the heart of any and every home. It's where we hang out while food is being prepared, talk while snacking, and laughter often fills this place. The kitchen and cooking always reminds me of my childhood. There are certain food smells that I will always associate with my Mom and Grandmother. I want to be skilled enough to cook something different whenever I feel like it. I don't want to feed my family the same ol' same everyday. I am not a big fan of leftovers for the most part. This definitely stems from me being very picky and sort of spoiled. My Mother always says that my "children" will be as picky as I was so that I can see what it feels like. I'm sure that this will be the case.
I would love to put forth more effort in the kitchen. I think I will purchase a few cookbooks and just dive in. I also want to get more into baking from scratch. Cooking for those you love is an expression of love to me. I want to cook healthy and tasty meals for my family. I want to be able to give that to them. I know that to be a greater cook, I need to practice more. It's so easy for me to not cook or eat something simple. I will be pushing myself to cook more and experiment more in the kitchen. I have been researching recipes online and there are a few that I must try my hand at. I have no doubt that I can concur my kitchen cooking woes. I will be a better cook in no time. I know it in my heart.
When something is really good or right, I feel it. When something is wrong or bad, I feel it. We all have those feelings in the pit of our stomach. Some of us ignore them. I've never been able to do that. I listen to my instincts. I love that gut feeling when something or someone is good. It kinda like feeling the sunshine on my face. When I first met a person or enter into a situation and everything just feels good and right, I just know it. There is no denying it. I especially love when I'm the only person who can foresee the goodness and righteousness of a situation. That truly makes me smile.
I hate that feeling when it's associated with something bad. It's a dreadful feeling. It's like I'm waiting on the other shoe to drop. Do you know how crazy that could drive someone? I am a control freak. I do not like the unknown. I am very selective of the people I let in my life. I am huge on first impressions. If I get a bad first impression, it takes a whole lot for me to change my mind on a person. That bad gut feeling sucks.
Gut feelings are, in my opinion, internal detectors. It's that nagging feeling you cannot shake. One can try but it never goes away. And, truthfully, why would one want to get rid of such a good trait? We all need this to exist. We need it to self protect also. I always go with my gut. My instincts have not led me astray in 31 years. I'm gonna continue to do that.
They are KING. I am thankful for Twitter and following certain folks who put me up on this incredible group. One night about a month ago, Questo of The Roots gave them a co-sign as did Talib Kweli. So I followed the links to see what was up. I was intrigued. This group had just released their 3 song EP. It was $2.99 on Amazon. I bought it and listened as soon as the mp3 download was finished. I was a fan from the opening chords of "Hey." It's just feel good music to me."Hey" is my favorite. It puts me in the mind of Floetry. Erykah Badu is a huge fan of KING as well. These women have it. I love their harmonies, their voices, theri lyrics and music. I am so excited to hear what they release next. I have included their three songs. They are "Hey," "Supernatural," and "The Story." All three different but equally great. Get Into KING!!!
Nightmares: Are they real or figments of our imaginations? I love my dreams. They are the most interesting play by plays ever. But, nightmares disturb me. I don't like to be scared, especially not in my sleep. It's not a great feeling. I toss and turn all night. I also wake up a lot when I'm having a nightmare. It's just a very weird, thankfully seldom, occurrence. Nightmares are just not a fun time for me. It makes me very conscious of my surroundings and people. I do not like that feeling at all.
I hate the "someone is after me/chasing me/trying to kill me" nightmares. They are the worst. I always feel like the white girls in every horror movie. I can never run faster enough or out maneuver my usually unknown assailant. And, my nightmares always seem to be never ending. I don't ever die. But a killer is always in pursuit of me until I wake up. Once I'm awoke, I feel exhausted. It's as if the nightmare was real. Sometimes a tad bit too real for me. I've awakened with words muscles and unexplainable bruises. That makes it a little too real for me. The crazy things is its never Freddy Kruger or Michael Myers or Jason after me. I always feel that it's someone I know.
My nightmares tend to stay with me for some time. I can't shake them off. It's a habit I wish I knew how to break. I know one must take the good with the bad. But I really believe that I can do with out nightmares to the rest of my life. Life can be hard enough. I don't want to have to fight the world during the day AND as I sleep. Even Superwoman needs a break, right? Do your nightmares bother or scare you? What are your nightmares about? Share with me.
Beyonce featuring Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne "Sweet Dreams remix"
Today is April 1st. The day when the entire world has the free range to pull pranks. Or to act as fool. I'm sure you can tell that I'm not a fan of April Fool's Day. I'm not big on the whole pranking thing.
Facebook and Twitter were all abuzz with the most predictable pranks. I'm engaged, I'm married, I'm moving, I'm expecting/I had a baby. I don't know why adults think these pranks are funny. Clearly they aren't in my world. I love to laugh and will always enjoy a good joke. But, I think if one is over the age of 21, the April Fool's jokes are way lame. I just don't get the big hoopla around this date concerning adults. We are too old to this. April Fool's Day is a young man's sport. It is time to leave it to the young ones.
The only thing I associate with today's date is my youngest sister. It's her birthday today. She's 15 and I cannot believe that. My love for her overshadowed my disdain and annoyance with the actual holiday. So, please don't be a fool and fall into this trap of holiday. I celebrate my sister on this day. There are no jokes are pranks from me. I cannot get with it anymore. Happy Birthday, Tika!
