Day 30: Parting Words

This30 day blog challenge has been a very good way for me to write. The topics very varied and I loved them. Some were much easier to write on than others. But, I did them nonetheless. Finishing was a big accomplishment for me and my blogging. I can't express how great it feels to jump head first back into writing on a daily basis. I've been experiencing a bit of writer's block. I think it's safe to say that it's clearly gone now!! Woo-hoo :) So, my parting words to this challenge are as followed. I am thankful and grateful for finding you through other blogs.

Day 29: Aspirations

Aspirations: a strong desire to achieve something high or great; an object of such desire

I aspire to be:

* a great writer
* a great poet
* a more creative being
* a wife
* a mother
* an informed person
* a better woman than I was yesterday
* a loving, kind woman of God.

These are all on my simple list of things to achieve.

Day 28: Missing This

I really, really miss the carefree days of being a kid. No worries, no drama, everything in my kid world was cool even when it wasn't. That's the great innocence of being a child. You are so oblivious to the real ills of the world. That is something that should be bottled and sold. Nostalgia is always good.

The Katrina Effect

I will never forget this date. Never forget that hurricane. The images & feelings are embedded into my DNA now. Five years ago, my entire existence was forever altered. I never thought I'd awake in Galveston to scenes of my city underwater. It was surreal. Sort of akin to having an out of body experience. I couldn't believe that I could not go home. That it wasn't even an option. My family was safe, thank God. I didn't lose anyone personally in the waters of Katrina. We were all spread all over the southern U.S. I ached for home, for family, for familiarity. I got nothing in return. I suffered from anxiety about rain & water. I missed everything that was New Orleans...good, bad & indifferent. It was the place that made me me. I will never forget it. I just want my city to be better than before, to flourish & continue to rise above. I came home because I was heartsick & homesick. But, I think I've been cured of that. Nothing will ever remove that period from my life. Everyone here always refers to tings as post & pre-Katrina. That will forever be the case for my generation.

Day 27: My Favorite Spot

My favorite spot has always been my Momma Louise's house. Ever since I was a little girl, her house was the place where we all met up. From the porch to her backyard, I have memories attached to every inch of her house. I even lived with her for a year prior to Hurricane Katrina. The house that sits @ #9 will always hold a special place in my heart.

Day 26: My Fears

My fears are simple:

* failure
* snakes
* spiders
* being alone forever

The Map

I saw this picture and the words caused me to gasp. I felt them deep in my soul. The words are so true. I'm a thinker and I worry alot. I want to rationalize my feelings. As if love is a rational feeling. I know that what I'm feeling in my heart is real. I cannot deny that. I'm sure I'm just afraid. Fear is one hell of an emotion. But, I know that love is stronger.

Day 25: My Body...Stamped

I got my first tattoo at 18 y/o. It was a cold February night in 1998. I was a freshman in undergrad. I was tatted @ a place called "House of Pain." Great name, right? Lol. It def hurt at first but then my back sorta numbed up. My tattoo artist, Earth, was very cool. My girls and I had a great conversation with the tattoo artist. I loved my tat. It encompassed two of my favorite things: hearts and music.

Day 24: Tears of a Clown

I'm not really a woman who cries. Especially not in public. that is a huge no-no for me. I'm always deeply touched by kind words from people I love and care deeply about. I'm a sap when it comes to that. I can't help it. I tear up when my nephews tell me that I'm their favorite and they love me. Or when my niece begs me to stay by her house because she loves me. If any of my friends say really kind things to me, I tend to cry...in my house, alone.

Day 23: You Make Me Better

"I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together. Papi, I'm good all by myself. But, baby, you make me better. You make me better." ~ Fabolous & Ne-yo "You Make Me Better"



You ever meet someone who makes you better instantly and makes you wanna be better for them? I have. He is intelligent and funny and sincere and warm and giving. And, he makes me want to achieve more, do more, be more. There is just something about him that I feel deep in my soul. He is so much like me that its scary. He's the ying to my yang as he says. We are the accompanying pieces to each other proverbial puzzles. Simply put, he makes me a better person, a better woman for knowing him. Regardless of what happens or doesn't happen, I'm better because of this relationship. I've never felt like this before and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. He calls me beautiful and because of him I've never felt more beautiful. I love the way he sees me. I could go on and on about his great endearing qualities. But this blog post has to end soon and I'd still be writing lol.

Day 22: I See Red When...

Racism. Plain and simple. I literally see red when it comes to this issue. In 2010, to prejudge someone by the color of their skin is just ignorant. I base my judgement of folks on their actions and their words. Black, white, yellow, brown, purple alike. I like who I like. Color has never played a part in how I chose my friends and it never will. Nor will I ever let race play a part in who I align myself with. I am more than this brown skin. I am more than the box I check next to African-American. I am more than my Black pride. I am not my race nor whatever a racist will call me. I am not a negro, I am not an African-American, I am not Black. I am a human being, first, last and foremost. I am me. See me for the woman that I am inside. Hell, get to know before you decide you hate me. I promise you won't hate me. Love me? Probably. Like me? Definitely. Hate me? Doubtful. It would be silly of me to believe that just because President Barack Obama was elected into office, that racism would be erased. I know we still have a long way to go. but, I think we should be further along than we are as a nation. Time for a change is def now.

24 Questions

01 — A newly discovered song - Algebra's "At This Time"

02 — A movie you want to see - "Takers"

03 — A t.v. show you watch too much - It's a tie between "The Wire" & "Sex & the City"

04 — A good book - "Platinum" by Aliya S. King

05 — Quote of the Day - "Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are."

06 - What's on your mind right now - Sex with him.

07 — Something random - I don't like haunted houses.

08 — A fictional book - Sister Soulja's "The Coldest Winter Ever"

09 — A non-fictional book - "The Autobiography of Malcolm X"

10— Something that is currently over-rated - The Kardashian fam.

11 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly) - Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come"

12 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.) - Frida Kahlo's "The Two Frida's"

13 — Your day, in 1 word - Cool.

14 — Your week, in 1 word - Beginning.

15 — This month, in 1 word - Intriguing.

16 — This year, in 2 words - Quite amazing.

17 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days - To live & love every moment.

18 — Something random - Spa pedicures are awesome!

19 — A talent of yours - I write poetry.

20 — A hobby of yours - I read...alot.

21 — A pair of shoes - Christian Louboutin's

22 — A website - katchkenda.tumblr.com

23 — A favorite of yours - Chili's Strawberry Lemonade

24 - One more random thought - I need a vacation really.

Day 21: At This Moment

I'm on the cusp of something that could be great for me. I'm ready to make a huge move in my life. I wanna give up everything that is familiar to me for everything that is def foreign to me. I need this moment to be monumental. It's time for a big change. And, I'm more than ready. I'm also scared to death as well. But, fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin. And, I'm tossing it. I'm standing on the edge of my old life while my new life is within my grasp. I just have to jump. Eyes wide open, I'm taking this huge leap of faith. *fingers crossed* Wish me luck!!!

Day 20: August 2010

August has been a mixture of extreme heat, unpredictable rain, work, family and laughter. I live in New Orleans and summer time is always hot. This August has been no better. There have been hurricane scares, a tropical depression #5 that wouldn't quit and a ridiculous amount of new founded information. The month of August has been incredibly, surprisingly good to me. I have no real complaints.

Drunk Mind = Sober Thoughts?!?

So I'm in the bed typing this after celebrating my brother's 25th birthday tonight. I've been drinking (shout out to Ciroc) but I'm not drunk. I feel the need to call one specific person & let him into my soul for a while. I'm a tad bit tipsy & I'm sure I'm rambling. But, I'm wondering if the old addage is true. Does a drunk mind speak a sober heart? Like why is it that I wanna confess some things to him right now? My saving grace is the fact that he didn't answer when I called & this blog. I'm blaming it all on the Ciroc. That has to be the cause. I actually learned a long time ago that when I drink alot, I shouldn't talk alot. I'm laying in bed wishing I was next to him there instead of here. Wishing I had the courage to leap without looking. Hell, right now, I just wanna hear his voice. *le sigh* Maybe I am drunk. Maybe I should stop blogging and start sleeping this Ciroc off. *lol* Idk. *Kanye shrug* Hopefully, I'll see him in my dreams.

What Number Are You?

You Are 5: The Investigator

You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker. You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does. Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations. You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it. At Your Best: You are sharp, inventive, and creative. You have the skills to lead the world. At Your Worst: You are reclusive, weird, and a bit paranoid. Your Fixation: Greed Your Primary Fear: Being useless or incompetent Your Primary Desire: Being competent and needed Other Number 5's: Bill Gates, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Bjork, and Stephen Hawking.

What Number Are You?

I totally disagree with the greed, paranoid attributes. But, every thing else is prettty on point.

Day 19: Regrets

My biggest regret still weighs heavy on my heart. I regret not going home the weekend of September 18, 1998. this would be the last weekend my Dad was alive. I changed my mind about leaving college to go home for the weekend at the last moment because I had a paper to write. I didn't talk to my Dad at all that weekend. And, by early the following Wednesday (Sept. 23), my dad was dead. I never got the chance to say goodbye. That still makes me so sad. I miss his voce and his laugh. We didn't always have the best relationship but he was still my Daddy and I was his firstborn baby girl.

Randomization

"I swear I'm so freaking random that it's funny." - Me

* I just finished reading Aliya S. King's first novel "Platinum" and it was awesome. I cannot wait to read the follow up "Diamond Life" next year. I have to support great writers.

* I'm so over this rain that has become a daily occurrence in the N. O. It's not even cute anymore.

* I'm having a love/hate relationship with my Palm Pre and Sprint. I really love Sprint but lately they have been giving me the blues. The Pre's service has been sh-t since HP purchased the company. I want an Evo. I can upgrade next month I do believe. I'm not gonna switch cell providers though. I'm a loyal Sprint customer!

* I'm addicted to this cheap blue nail polish I copped. It's by NYC & it's called "Empire State of Mind" and its so adorable.

* I find it ironic that I found what I didn't even know I needed.

* Reading the Bible is giving me so much peace I never knew I needed. It's helping me curb my anger towards certain people.

* I hate to ever feel unsure about things. I like to be settled in my feelings. Uncertainty is not my cup of tea.

*Thinks its wonderful that a person has walked into my life by accident but has plans to stay on purpose.

* My musical random thoughts: Dondria's cd "Dondria vs Phatfffat is a cute little R&B cd. "Believer" & "Where Did We Go Wrong?" are my favorite tracks so far. Fantasia's "Back To Me" is nice as well. I hate that I love her song "Collard Greens and Cornbread" lol. Mayer Hawthorn has a voice that is a bonafide throwback to the heyday of Motown record's. Every time I hear his "I Need You," I feel it deep in my soul.

* I feel like I'm falling. This is insane.

Day 18: My Favorite Birthday

My favorite birthday would have to be my 21st. My birthday is December 14th and it was really cold. I had a family party with cake and ice cream. Which was an event all its own. My friends and I celebrated at Harrah's casino. I used my birthday money to gamble and I won a few dollars. We had some drinks and ate at the buffet. We clowned all night. We didn't make it home til the sun came up. The night was literally amazing. Great way to bring in the official adult birthday.

Day 17: My Favorite Memory

Choosing my favorite memory was a hard one. It was summer 2003 on a warm summer August night in New Orleans. My friends and I were gathered at this little dive bar in the city to wish our girl farewell. She was moving to another city for a job. The drinks were flowing and the music was blasting. The entire group was enjoying the night. We then ended up @ the House of Blues for more music, drinking and dancing. Our night ended @ the Trolley Stop for breakfast. It was an incredible night. It was also the last night we spent with Shauna. I wouldn't go into that. But, this memory sticks out in my mind.

Day 16: Besos

I still remember it like it was yesterday. My first real kiss was with a guy I'll call TT. I was 13 & in the 9th grade. He & I had last period together. Our teacher was an old, disgruntled man who always put kids out of class on a daily. TT and I had been flirting up a storm since the beginning of the school year. There were stolen glances, passed love notes, and hands being held while walking home. I was enamored with this guy. He was a tall chocolate colored guy with a smile and dimples to die for. He was older than me.

On this particular Wednesday, TT & I were the two exiled students. He & I roamed the upstairs corridor of our school laughing and talking. I felt butterflies whenever I was near him. He stopped walking and grabbed me into a big hug. This guy smelled incredible. Just like Cool Waters. He caressed my face and said to me "Baby girl, I really wanna kiss you." I just nodded in agreement. His lips touched mine and I felt it down to my toes. I closed my eyes to savor the moment. My first kiss!!! OMG!! His hands pulled me closer to him. His whole essence engulfed me. We kissed for what seemed liked hours. My hands were wrapped around his neck and I kept running my fingers over his earlobes. I knew he like that. This was it. After all the months of flirting with this boy, it had paid off. He went from kissing me to kissing my neck to kissing my lips again. When we finally finished kissing, he looked at me and smiled. He said "I knew your lips would be that sweet, baby girl." (yes, the brother was smooth as hell @ 15!!) I have to say I had a perfect real first kiss. And, I am thankful for it.

Day 15: Dreaming

My dreams today included:

* I want to write a book that people revel in.
* I'm ready to make a huge move. I need to change my physical location soon.
* I want to be a better me.
* I want to travel...island hop.
* I want to get married and have kids.

Single...but Taken?!?

"I'm single but my heart is taken....single doesn't mean available." ~ Klodya Daoud

I just read this quotes on Twitter via @iheartquotes. I've never looked at this situation in this manner. But, the quote is absolutely true. Just because you aren't in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that you are available. When you're carrying someone in your heart, can you ever really have room for someone new? And, furthermore, is it even fair to the new person to let them into your life when you know you're not available to allow them in your heart? Love is crazy. And, the heart always wants what the heart wants. There is no denying love. You can try but it never really works out. No matter if the person occupying your heart is an ex, someone you fancy or the one you can't get it right with, it doesn't leave any extra room for another person. I've def "been here & done that." I think we all have. I know I'm not alone in this assessment. Maybe that is why this quote really stood out to me.

Day 14: What I Wore *Yesterday*

On Sunday, I wore a dress. A cute & simple A-line cotton dress. It's blue, black, teal and white stripes. I wore some flat metallic sandals, silver hoops, multiple silver bangles, and a cute silver ring that I love. Simple and cute. I love the way it fits me. It's comfortable.

Day 13: This week

This week was long, hot, rainy, fun and informative. Glad it's over and that I made it to the weekend. It has rained literally every day this week. I mean, not just a simple sprinkle but the torrential downpour. And, after the rain comes the heat. Seriously, it feels like hell in the N.O. right now. This week wasn't full of surprises which is always awesome. Just a very normal by the book week for me. I am grateful for that!

Letting Go & Giving In: The Battle of Heart Versus Head

In essence, we are all looking for, seeking, searching for love in some way, shape, or force. It is what we are here for. But, if you've been hurt before, giving in to love is a hard mountain to climb. Once you've learned to protect yourself from being hurt, that defense mechanism turns on automatically. I've been hurt before by someone who claimed to love me. The aftermath of that was dreadful. Because of it, I've broken a few hearts as well. I feel awful about that. So, letting go of past hurt and giving into the possibility of a new love is absolutely frightening to me.

I'm a strong chick. This much I know to be true. I'm afraid to fail @love again. Afraid that being hurt again would be harder than the last time. I'm always in my own head contemplating every possible scenario. I'm not sure how I would pick myself back up again. It took everything out of me to mend my broken heart. I know now that I'm a better woman for making it through that situation. I also know what love really is and isn't now. So, I'm thankful for the heartbreak.

Giving into what the heart wants sounds so easy. And, truthfully, it should be. Love is simple. We complicate it. Hell, I def over think it instead of just allowing myself to feel it and be in it for the moment. With age comes wisdom if you're lucky. I count myself in that group. I'm more open to letting go and giving in. I need to feel again. I can't do it by myself. I'm not searching for a man to complete me. I'm already whole. Instead, I need a companion. The ying to my yang. The one other soul on this planet who just gets me, accepts me for the woman that I am & who just simply loves me.


"I don't know why your heart doesn't do what you tell it to." - Sidney Shaw "Brown Sugar"

Day 12: What I'm Holding

This is day 12 of this blogging challenge and its the 14th. Twelve/Fourteen is also my birthday. Those numbers are also the name of my blog. I thought that was very ironic and wanted to share it with you guys. Anywho, on to the topic at hand, what's in my bag.

* Yellow wallet
* Burt's Bees Strawberry lipgloss
* Avon's Glazewear in Clear
* NYC's Clear Mascara
* Covergirl Black Mascara
* A comb
* A ponytail holder
* A calendar
* Keys
* Cash (sometimes...I'm usually a debit girl)
* My camera
* Benadryl
* Family pics
* Pre travel charger

Day 11: My Siblings

I am the oldest of 7. I have 3 brothers: Kenneth Jr (deceased), Kendrick (in the 1st pic to the right), & Senio (in the second pic to the right). I also have 3 sisters: Kennesha, Shanterri, & Matika. That's my sisters and I in the last picture. My relationships with them are all very different. I will fight to the death for all of them and protect them fiercely with everything in me. Being the oldest is akin to being a Mom. I love them and want nothing but the best for them. Yes, we have arguments and disagreements at times. But, that's what siblings, what families do. In the end, love is all that really matters the most.

Day 10: What I Wore Today

This is technically what I wore yesterday but it works as well.

Orchid/Navy sheer shirt with a orchid cami underneath
Black slacks
Orchid peep toe pumps (which I love, love so much so that I have them in 3 colors)
Multiple black bracelets
Silver hoops and silver ring

*Idk why the pic came out like this. *Ye shrug*

My Obsession: "Sex and the City"

*le sigh* Where do I begin?? "Sex and the City" has been an essential part of my life since the night it premiered. The people who only summarize this show as a bunch of oversexed privileged white women are mistaken. This show was about relationships. The most important ones being with yourself and your girlfriends. My friends (Ty, Reese, Shay, & Shauna) & I lived for this show. We would watch it in groups and discuss the weekly episodes daily.

I love the friendship between the four women. My favorite, of course, is Carrie. She was the core of the show. I loved her voice-overs, especially after season one. She was outlandishly stylish. I love the fact that she was a writer. I also identified with her love of shoes, although I couldn't afford them. We watch her grow for a very insecure, sex column writing, shoe buying woman to a very secure, in love, New York Times best selling author.

All the women on the show were so different personality-wise. Their friendships endured everything that life threw at them. Samantha Jones had the best one-liners. She simply did not care. Miranda was no nonsense and tough. Charlotte was the hopeless, hapless romantic. And, New York city herself was the unofficial 5th girlfriend. The backdrop to everything that was unique and special about SATC.

I still watch it when it comes on TBS nightly. I own the entire series on dvd as well as the first movie. When the second movie drops on dvd, I will own it too. I also own a SATC game that I love. this show was just amazing to me. I loved it from day one. I still do. I always will. The topics of discussion are still relevant to my life and the lives of the women I surround myself with. There will never be a show that captures a moment so perfectly to me.

Day 9: Karmic Energy, Love, and Life

My beliefs! I'm just gonna list the things I believe in.

* I believe in ME. - That is the most important thing. It's not a conceited issue either. My confidence in myself determines how far I will go. I don't let anyone else's real or make believe perception of me determine how I see myself. I see me clearly when I look into a mirror or introspectively.


* I believe in God. - I'm a Christian, Baptist but I'm not overly religious. My relationship with God is my own and cannot be defined or quantified by any one else.

* I am Pro-Life - for myself and Pro-Choice for everyone else. I don't think I have the right to decide anything for any other able bodied person.

* I'm a Democrat - I'm also a President Barack Obama supporter (since 2004). I believe in politics & government.

* I believe in trust - Loyalty and honesty also fall into this category for me. Once you have my trust, you're golden. But, if you ever do anything to jeopardize that, I will be done.

* I believe in karmic energy. - what you put out is what you get back. I'm not a perfect person, but I try my best to do right by people.

* I believe in solo dating. - I think a person needs to spend time with themselves & enjoy their own company. I go to the movies, get spa pedicures, and go out to eat by myself every once and a while. If I don't love my company, how can I expect anyone else to?

* I believe that black is beautiful. - In my opinion, black people as a whole are beaten down on in the press and in general. I think its important to have a healthy outlook on who you are, on your race and love for it all. I make sure my nieces and nephews know that the color of their skin may differ but all of their black is beautiful.

* I believe in love. - Romantic love. I strongly believe that its out there for everyone. Love isn't a tangible thing. I am waiting to experience an adult love. I feel it will be great.

~Disclaimer~ This list may grow exponentially as the days go by.

The Faux Celebrity

Remember the days of actual talented celebrities? It seems like so long ago. In 2010, we are handed a bunch of faux celebrities. People, mainly women, who have no real talent but everyone knows their names. You guys know who I'm speaking of. Folks such as Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian & her family, Superhead, Kat Stacks, Tiger woods' mistresses, and Jesse James' mistresses. Women who've used sex and sex tapes to garner their faux fame. When did this become the norm? Why are these people featured on magazines and talk shows and the like?

I swear I wish I had never head of none of these people. They are seemingly simple and vapid people. But, also kinda smart. They used what they had to get the fame, notoriety, and money. The public eats it up. I refuse to indulge in the simplicity. My mind cannot wrap itself around the fact that this is real life. We've become so caught up in the fakness that reality has become lost. Reality tv isn't real life. I want movie & tv stars back. Actual, real life people with God given talent. I do like some reality tv shows. But, I'm not a fan of these people. I don't wanna see them on my tv, on the computer and on magazines week in and week out.

Truth be told, I don't see this trend ending any time soon. The public is too caught up in the fascination of it all. I don't support this. I just can't. My intelligence won't let me. I know where I will and won't spend my money. I know what I will watch and won't watch. Everyone else can keep and idolize these faux celebs. I'll be late for that (c @brookandthecity) lol.

Day 8: The "I-Want-A-Baby" moment

It's hard to randomly choose just one defining moment in my life. I am sitting here trying to think of a significant moment in my life thus far. There have been quite a few so I'm not sure which one to pick. Ok here goes a good one.

On April 16, 2001, my life changed. A little girl was born and she captured my heart. Her name is DaShira, we call her Shi. She's my 9 year old God-daughter. She's grown up to be an intelligent, adorable, opinionated and bubbly little girl. But, the moment I held her in my arms, I fell in love with her and the idea of having kids. This was a big deal to me because prior to that, I was anti-kids. Probably because I am the oldest of 6. I've been the mommy of my group of friends, even though I'm the youngest one. But, that one moment changed how I saw my future. This thought was reinforced by the fact that I babysat her everyday for the first month of her life. She is still my baby and I'm her Nanna. Now, I haven't fulfilled this particular epiphany yet. But, I still fell the same way I did on that day. I seriously have to stop writing before I begin to cry.

Day 7: My Best Friend

Blessed is the person who has someone to call a friend. I never, ever take my friends for granted. that being said, I have a few best friends. They are my bestie's for different, varied reasons.

My oldest and dearest best friend is Ty. She is my first cousin, my godsister and first friend. She says she knew me before I knew me (lol) because she's 10 months and 2 days older than me. We've been each other's confidant, protector, supporter, and personal cheerleader for 30 1/2 years now. She knows me and accepts me for the woman that I am. And, vice versa. Our friendship is indeed special and unique. Many friends have come & gone but we're still here, still tight.

Then there's Chuck. We've been friends for 20 years! That's crazy! He's one of the best guys I know. Our friendship has always been based on total honesty. that's a quality & characteristic that you cannot bottle or buy. I am grateful to know him. If ever I need to talk or vent or express my concern about anything in my life, he's been a shoulder for me to lean on. I'm sure I have been the same for him.

I am so lucky to have a great group of friends...true, real friends. The ones that I can count on when the chips are down or when everything is great. I love them for that and the feelings def mutual.

Day 6: My Day

Today was a simple, lazy Sunday. I woke up around 5:15am. I had a 3 hour conversation with him. I'm sure I fell asleep a few times during that conversation. lol. I ate an orange for breakfast. I watched "Love & Basketball" and "Brown Sugar." These are two of my favorite movies. I had a late lunch @ P.F. Chang's with a friend. I had dynamite shrimp, brown rice, crab wontons and a Mojito. The food, drinks and conversation were all food for my soul this Sunday. It felt like the thermometer was turned up to hell. It's soooo freaking hot here. I'm beyond ready for fall. I'm home now waiting for "Big Brother" to come on. I will most likely end my day the way I began it...another hour long conversation. In the words of O'shea Jackson, "today was a good day!!"

Day 5: What is Love??

My definition of love varies. Love is a verb…an action word. So it means that ones actions need to line up with ones words. It's the butterflies in the stomach and the happiness in the voice when you see that person. It's when you care about that person's well being more than anything. It's the knowing that your life would be a lot dimmer without them in it. Love is a roller coaster…the highs are incredible…the lows are the worst…but all of it is worth the ride. I can’t tell you what love is, but I know it when I’m in it and when I feel it. It’s like air. I just know.

Day 4: What I Ate

So, this is a rather easy posting day for me. Here goes:

Breakfast: Strawberries, yogurt & granola parfait.

Snack: Kit Kat.

Lunch: Chipotle wings and baked potato.

Mid-afternoon snack: Pretzels.

Dinner: Tacos.

That was my day. Quick, simple and easy!!

Day 3: My Parents

My parents were both born in New Orleans, La. They met & fell in love in high school. At 19 & 20 respectively, they were married and had me. After years of being together and not being together, they were divorced in 1997 my senior year of high school. I lost my Dad @ 18. A very sad and angry time in my life that I'm not ready to get into.

My Mom has always been the backbone of who I am. She worked 2 and 3 jobs to take care of me and my brother. I've never ever felt unloved or alone. Things weren't always easy for us, but she did her best. We never went without food, clothing, housing, or electricity. She is the epitome of a mother doing whatever it takes to take care of her kids. She always put us first. She instilled so many values in me. We've always been able to talk (minus those teenage years when I "thought" she was my enemy). She's one of my best friends and one of the best women I know. She's not perfect and her flaws make her even more down to earth. I love to clown with her about everything. She's very affectionate, always telling us she loves us & hugging us. That alone has made me a very affectionate and loving person. I'm sure my brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, nephews, nieces and Godkids all know how much I love them. Because of my Mom, I'm always telling them. I appreciate all the things she sacrificed for me.

My Dad was my twin. We were so much alike. We bumped heads often. Mostly because I would call him on his bs. I hated that he wasn't a father to all 6 of us. He was a joker, hilarious sense of humor, great smile, and nice eyes. I just wished he would've been more of a Father to me. I'm the oldest and I needed him. Hell, I still do. He kinda never really grew up. I miss his laugh and the way he used to say my name. I never doubted that he loved me. I was his baby girl, his firstborn. He cherished me. As a kid, he was my all. I really miss him.

So, that's my take on Yolanda and Kenneth, my parents. Everything that I am, fundamentally, is because of them. I am thankful for them.

Simple Quote

When you just "be yourself" you give the right person the opportunity to see the real you and Fall.

Day 2: My First Love

When I read that today's topic was "your first love," I was conflicted. I could have gone the normal route and made this post about the first guy I loved. But, in reality, that's not a good story to tell. We met, became friends, fell in love, and fell out of love. End scene here lol. I decided to blog about my first real love: music.

My earliest memories of family life with my Mom and Dad involve music. They both loved music. I'm guessing that's where I get it from. My Dad was a DJ on the side. There was always music playing in my house. My dad & I would sing to each other. I knew every song on the radio and a lot that weren't. Music always brings me back to my happy place. My parents were always amazed by my musical ear. I could tell you the name of a song & who sang it within seconds. It was my thing. The first album (yes, album. I'm a 30 y/o woman :) I ever owned was New Edition's Candy Girl. It was a gift from my Dad along with a record player. I listened to it everyday non-stop. I was a fan from the first time I heard their prepubescent voices. I remember I was a Teena Marie fanatic as a little girl. I also remember crying when my Dad told me she was White. Granted I was like 4 and believed that everyone was like me. I told him "Daddy, Teena Marie is brown like me!!" He had to buy her album to convince me. I still loved her nonetheless. I was a very strange child...who grew into a weird women. But, it's part of my charm :)

Music has always been the most consistent thing in my life. If I'm happy, it enhances my mood. If I'm sad, it lifts me up. I listen to a little of everything musically. If the music is right and the lyrics are on point, I'm good. No, great. I've always turned to music. It inspires me to write. I guess my love of music will always be in me. I can never really claim a favorite song...because it changes daily lol. My favorite singers and groups are Teena Marie, Prince, New Edition, Destiny's Child, Jay-Z, and Eve. My musical tastes are really random though. I could go from listening to Jay-z to Christina Aguilera to 112 to Paramore to Shania Twain and end with Linkin Park. I just like what/who I like. I don't see color in music. I just pursue what moves me. And, that will always be music, my first love.

Day 1: Let's talk about who I am.

My father made my name up. Up until I was an adult, I've never met anyone with my name. And, the few women that I've met with my government name were named after me. That, to me, makes me very special and unique. People have mispronounced my name for 30 years now. I prefer the abbreviated form of my name. I think it fits the woman that I am, the woman that my mother raised me to be. I'm a 30 year old, single woman with no kids, no pets (but I want a puppy). I am a writer, a lover of the arts, born and bred New Orleans girl. I'm a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an auntie, a friend, a Nanna all rolled into one.

I'm a writer by nature, a poet by nurture. I love words and language. Always have, always will. I live for music. It's a guaranteed way to change or enhance my mood. A good book and great music is my idea of a good time. I'm sarcastic and funny and opinionated and spoiled and a wonderful friend. My sense of humor is seriously outta this world lol. I love that about myself though. Laughter is the best and only drug I need. I love & enjoy my family, especially my 4 nephews and 2 nieces. I'm the oldest of 7 and I relish being the boss :) true story.

This is my second or third time trying this blogging thing. I'm more dedicated to sticking to it this time. Time will tell right? Ok, day one done. Day two is up next!

30 Day Blog Challenge

This is a new challenge for me. A 30 day blogging event. I will try my best to stick to this and see it through.


Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment

My Poetry Corner I: "...getting fucked"

I'm a writer. More specifically, I'm a poet. So, I plan on sharing my poetry with the world. Here's one of my favorite pieces that I've ever written and the one I love to perform the most. Enjoy!!

Sometimes things occur in your life that make you take a deeper look at the people you let into your life and into your body. And, the reality is that, most times, those people aren't deserving of what you have to offer!!

"...getting fucked!"

thoughts of how it should be
between you & me
while all the while settling for little that you do give
because it's the only way you say you know how to live
to everything else, you got me playing second best
or 3rd or 4th or 10th, no less
you spit that game
when you claim
that you love me, see
because of you, I now know bout getting fucked
because if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn't be stuck
here with you
trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do
baby, do you understand that you are fucking me, mentally
raping my trust, my love, & my innocence continuously
see, this ain't no loving intercourse
because when it's all said and done, I am left with only dreaded remorse
you took of me what you needed
then decided that I was useless & depleted
you call this "true" & "real," right?
but only in bed & late at night
you believe that love is only physical
but, see, your love leaves me empty, depressed, & miserable
I know that love ain't supposed to leave you
full of hate & black & blue
every bruise on my broken, blistered heart
are all due to actions on your part
no, no, you never once raised your hands to me
because your "beatings" took place internally
see, I'm being hit with no glove
getting fucked with no love
from you I always get the short end of the stick
knowing that you can't fix this or us with your tongue or your dick
I am so tired of getting fucked with no protection
hopelessly, wishing for some genuine affection
I am desperately, desperately seeking solace from this
knowing that when I'm gone, you will not be missed
I will not cry one single tear
because I have, for too long, lived in fear
of being unloved & alone
but here, with you, is worst, so now I'm gone...